A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am dating a guy, who supported through bad times when my ex boyfriend was threatening me and beating me, he helped me to get over the problems I was having and eventually after some months we came together. Now its been already 20 months we've been together. He is always busy in his studies,he is 25 years old and am i'll soon be 24. we don't share common interests and have fun as he don't have so much time for me. but he keep on promising when we will get married he would have plenty of time and money, and I should be patient and believe him.He has never work throughout his life, and I always seems to be annoyed and feel insecure about our future because of this.He is a very loving person.He loves me. but since these problems and discussions about the future we've been having,our relationship got worst ever. We were kind of getting away from each other, and a third person came between us. I fell for someone else. I didn't happen intentionally. when my boyfriend was not here,, he was there for me, we chat for long hours,talk everyday, send messages, we were always missing each other, until one day we kissed.I was shocked by myself!!! how could this be? and from that day I tried to 4get what happened, I even try not to talk to that guy again,but could not.we have not seen each other that much,was only 3 times along with other friends and only once the two of us, and I know him since 1 month. Lately I could not take it any more and told my boyfriend the truth. that there is a guy that loves me and when we talk I feel very happy... he went so angry that he swear at me and told me that I was worth for him, that I betrayed him, when I did nothing at all.I just wanted to get rid of that burden and save my relationship.I've stopped having feeling for my boyfriend,I tried to get over and become as I was before 'so in love with my boyfriend' , I even had sex with my boyfriend after our fight to get more intimate with him.alas, my mind was somewhere else. my heart was paining and I could not break his heart either. I just cried and he found that my feelings were gone.But he is still looking forwards to carry on with our relationship.My life is now a mess!I really need help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): Its not about what your boyfriend wants, its about what YOU want.
You sound really confused at the moment so you need to step back and be single for a while. Try to find out what you really want.
Don't go diving into a new relationship because you think you love him . You barely know this new man and can't fall in and out of love as fast as this.You've only known him a month and met 4 times.
If your feelings have changed for the first man, then don't give into him, it wouldn't be fair on you or him.You have to make it clear that its over.
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