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female
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*ixie M
writes: me and my boyfriend have always been on and off for the last year but something always keeps attracting us back together. when we fight its always about little stuff and is normally me who throws in the towel. this time tho we've decided to really give it a go and have talked through our problems. I love him so much and know he's the guy for me.The one problem is - my mum and dad don't like him (especially my mum). its partly to do with us splitting up all the time but also they think i can do better. they say i can get someone much more good looking with a better job and prospects - they say i'm selling myself short. no matter wot i say they still disapprove. i know they cannot stop me from seeing him but i am very close to my family and their dissapproval upsets me. how can i get them to see the great guy that i can see? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (16 January 2007):
 Honestly I think it is YOU that have convinced your family that he isn't a great person, as I am sure you have complained to them everytime he has made you angry enough to break things off with him. I am also quite certain that your family will ALWAYS take your side, (because they love you) especially if you say that his behavior (or what ever it may be) has hurt you. They also see your anger and hurt, and probably aren't at all thrilled to see you that way.
How can you convince them that he is a great person? You probably can't until the two of you start to get along on a consistant basis, and you take responsibility for your portion of the problems. Why would your family approve of someone that, in thier eyes, causes enough turmoil in your life for you to want to break up with him repeatedly. I am sure that they are concerned that this will be a repeated pattern that will continue over and over again... that is what your history has proven to them.
It seems like you are easily upset by a lot of things, be it something your boyfried has done, or your families disapproval. I would suggest that you try to look at the situation through your parents eyes for a moment... maybe it will give you a better sense of what they are actually seeing.
I am aware that this answer is rather harsh, but I think another view of the situation may clear things up for you.
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female
reader, bexherbs  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 hi vixie,to me this is close to home! family disaprovel is hard but u know if you feel truely this guy for you and you truely dont care then go for it! Otherwise you may spend the rest of forever regreting it,take the bull by the horns and make it clear to everyone that he makes you happy and this is your life not theres!but also tell your family that you care about them to and dont want to go behind there backs!they wont like it but hey in the long run they will respect your honesty.
i would also advise you to also look at why they say what they do and put it into context but on the whole go for it and i really wish you happiness.
dont be a fool and let it ride, love is hard to walk from just for your family cse i did so n 16 years later come clean! lv bex xx
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