A
female
age
30-35,
*Meg
writes:So iv been dating this guy for a while now , we are truly happy with each other but we not the same race !! To him and I race is definitely NOT a issue - His coloured and I'm white!My dad doesnt know that we seeing each other, the rest of my family does and the approve - My dad won't approve. His family also knows about us!Before we got involved I explained that my dad is a hard one to crack- We agreed to keep it from him until we think that its time he knows !!Everything between us has been going great, yeah we have our arguments but what couple doesnt !!Recently his family have been contacting me telling me that its not right what I'm making him do, and that its "uncalled for" !! How should I handle this.Any advice??Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MilkPudding  +, writes (29 May 2011):
I'm not sure if this helps but yeah, my aunt married this Frenchman, our great-grandmother disapproved and they didn't marry for a long time because in our culture, it is bad luck to marry without your elders' blessings and if you do, everyone in the family would turn against you. But, she kept on persuading her and eventually after about 3-5 years, she finally approved. Persevere on, try talking him around, good luck!
Note: I'm a Peranakan, or a Straits Chinese, and also an Asian.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2011): I think its wrong that you are hiding this information from your father. I bet he really loves you and wants what is best for you. Maybe he doesn't want you to date a black, guy, and you disagree with him. Okay, that is fine. You are allowed to disagree with your dad.
But its another thing to lie to him. That kills the trust you have with him. Not only that, but it shows you don't really respect him. What do you think will hurt your dad more: the fact that your dating a black guy or the fact that you kept it a secret from him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2011): At the end of the day, speaking as someone who has battled this dating someone in a different culture, you have to accept that you are dating him, not his family, and vice versa for him. Whether they accept it or not, including your dad, they should eventually see that you are both happy together. They should be more focused that he is treating you right etc. Just be patient, and maintain plenty communication with your bf. It does get tough, but it can be done!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2011): well my brother is going through he same situation ... and I'm learning a-bit from him ha... but it's all about fighting for what u want..(;tell him(ur dad) he doesn't listen leave it allown for a while n then come back to it.. do that until he changes his mind. and if he doesn't well just leave it allowen and know that you tried...hope this helps....and goood luck...
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2011): you have to remember they we're born in a different time and grew up with marrying in the same race things have changed yes but not people's opinions the only thing that matters is that you both love each other or care about each other, your family's are being rude and judgmental i think you need to be harsh with them tell them look this is the man i love if you can't accept it i don't want you to be in my life your boyfriend should confront his family also it may be hard but it seems like you guys care about each other enough , maybe keeping it a secret would have been a good choice just to see if it was going to go anywhere but telling them would strengthen your relationships but also could be damaged
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A
female
reader, LolaBolla  +, writes (9 May 2011):
 I think it's fantastic you can overcome society's biases and wish you two the best. You said the rest of your family knows and they approve? If so, then I believe you should tell your father if you're planning a seriousl relationship with this boy.Granted, you're father is going to be stubborn at first, maybe for months, but he'll eventually relent if both your and the boy's family are pushing for it. Remember, at the end of the day he's your father, and even if he is wrong in harboring racial prejudice, he should still be respected.I think you and this boy should make it known that you're serious about eachother, however. Best of luck!
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