A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know not many people believe in finding true love in high school, but I am 100% certain that this guy was the real deal. I dated only one guy my entire junior year, and everything about him made me feel so safe and loved and like I was created to belong to him. Our relationship was so real and perfect, we were both sure we had found our significant others. I loved him more than my own life. There was only one little problem with our picture perfect fairy tale. My family. I live with very sheltered and over-protective parents, and they HATED my boyfriend for reasons I still can't figure out to this day. They took every chance they got to tear at our relationship, said awful comments to my bf to tear him down, and they always found it necessary to fight with me over him. Eventually, all me and my parents did anymore was fight about my relationship. We tried to ignore them and what they said about us, but since I had to live with them, ignoring the situation was not an option. We became very emotionally stressed, and even though we still loved each other with all our hearts, my family made our relationship very difficult. One night, after a long and heated argument with my parents, I was so hurt and confused and stressed that I didn't know what else to do. I called my bf and told him it wasn't going to work out anymore. He didn't take it well, and hung up angry and hurt. We didn't talk or see each other for another week after that. I instantly regretted breaking up with him, because I knew that I still loved him, and couldn't lose him. I finally drove to his house and told him I was sorry for everything and that I still loved him. He seemed so relieved to hear me say this, and said he still loved me too and wanted me back, but thought it was best to let the whole thing with my family settle down a bit before we became an official couple again. For a month after that, we made good progress. He took me out on dates, kissed me, cuddled with me, told me he loved me all the time, and everything felt so right and perfect again, and I was so sure I had him back. But then all of a sudden and out of the blue, he started acting rude, cold, and distant. Not just to me, but to his family and friends too. Everyone noticed. I went back to his house and asked what was on his mind. He replied, "I don't love you, and I will never love you again because of your family. You need to get the idea of us ever being together again out of your head." And slammed the door in my face! My heart snapped. I couldn't understand what had gone wrong, what I had done wrong, or what was wrong with me for him to suddenly change his mind like that. I became angry and upset that he led me on for so long, and left him an angry goodbye letter. We haven't spoken or seen each other since that day, and that was a little over 2 months ago. And even still today, the pain of the break up hurts like hell, and it makes even getting out of bed in the morning almost a burden. I act like I'm ok on the outside and slap on a smile, but inside, I feel like I'm dying. I feel so abandoned and alone, and that I was left to suffer the consequences of my parent's mistakes. I know I shouldn't have broken up with him in the first place, but at least I went back and tried to fix it. I feel like what I gave him for so long and what I still had to give wasn't enough for him anymore. I know in my heart I really do still love him, and I know it sounds silly, but no matter what I do and try, I just can't get over him, and I can't shake the feeling that he still needs me too, but is letting his stubborness and pride get in the way of his true feelings. His mom stayed in contact with me a little while after the break up, until my parents called her and told her to never talk to me ever again, and she told me that he says he still cares about me, keeps all the letters and gifts I gave him, and asks about me and how I'm doing all the time. But i don't really know what to make of that. I want him back more than I've ever wanted anything, but he needs to be the one to come back to ME this time. I just don't know what to do or where to start. I'm afraid after 2 months, it's too late and he's forgotten all about me. Please help me, I still love him and need him back. Do you think he still loves me? Is he even worth it? Is it too late? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, /\Julie/\ +, writes (21 August 2011):
Even if he still loves you , but think about it , a person who lets your parents get in the way and stays two months without speaking to you or even trying to .. is a person who is not going to make up with you if you get married and have all the fights and stuffs.Maybe he's a good person but what's really important here is FIGHTING for your love and never letting problems get in the way.i've known a guy just like that but he never gave up.But him?! he didn't even try he said really mean stuffs when you came to talk to him , i think you deserve someone better, time to move on, nobody said it will be easy , but just face it and give it a try and try to actually forget about him.This should have happened so you can know what kind of person he is when problems get in the way , and what the girl said is right you should try to move out from your family's house under one condition if they ever try to get involved with you relationships again!Stay STRONG ! and keep on moving on !
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey you guys! I have another question! I obviously really want him back, but do you think HE should be the one to come back to ME this time, or should I make the first move and try to reconcile with him??? I can't seem to figure out the answer to this question myself. It would really be awesome if someone could help me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your helpful responses. I feel more confident now, and I just feel that things will work themselves out for me and him. Your responses really made me feel better. I'm glad there is still hope. Thank you!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011): Well, all I can say is I know how you feel. I've gone through pain like that. And it is never a good thing to go through. I almost lost a really close friend of mine like that when we chose to go out, but that was 2 years ago. I missed her so much but eventually got over it. I still talk to her and we are still close friends.
I guess all you can do is wait, until he goes to you and apologizes. If he doesn't come back then you should move on, forget him and just think what is needed to be done for you until you can leave your parents and be on your own to make your own decisions without them ruining your dating life.
That is all I can think of, Good Luck and My best Regards.
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A
female
reader, lizzie_1234 +, writes (5 August 2011):
I don't think it's to late. He probably is just soo stressed by the whole situation. I'm sure he still loves you and wants you. Just give it some time. I completly understand what you're saying about how you feel abandoned and alone. But just hang in there i'm sure things will get better. By the way i'm saying that from expecerince my parents hate my boyfrind too. We have been together for almost two years and breaking up and arguing has happened due to my parents. We go all summer without seeing each other and during those times I feel so alone. We love each other so much we make it through. But I understand what you're saying in that it's stressfull, because it is. You have done all that you can you do. Just give it time and be strong girl. If it doesn't work out then maybe it wasnt ment to be, but from what you've said I think it will work out. I just think he needed a little time away from the situation. As for what you should do I would suggest trying to keep your self busy and try not think about. I know it sounds like a hard task but it will help you hurt less. I wish you the best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2011): I believe he does still love you. People don't just forget about someone they were in love with after two months of not speaking. His mother said as much and she has nothing to gain from lying. If he didn't care about you she would have said nothing or something non commital to avoid hurting you.There is no reason, from what I've read, that he wouldn't be worthy of your affection, but pursuing him under the circumstances is questionable. You're still living with your parents I presume so the circumstances that led to the break up still exist.All I can suggest at this point is start saving your money so you can move out on your own and date whomever you like. Keep in mind though that you probably won't be having any Christmas dinners at your parents house. If you choose him you'll probably be estranged from family for some time.
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