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writes: I met a great girl last December and for the first 5 months everything was great, even though we lived 80 miles apart. We have both been through a lot in the past 5 years ie she has been married and divorced and left without a penny, raped, and messed about in a lot of relationships which meant she frequently turned to the bottle. Her mum and dad have also moved to ireland to run a B & B business.Myself have just come out of a divorce where my ex has taken me for everthing I had have come into the relationship with nothing, the ultimate golddigger.I thought she was seeing someone else and feeling like I did with the ex wife I assumed rightly or wrongly that she WAS seeing someone. I accused her of seeing someone and the fallout was that a lot was said not only by myself but my family. She tried to ring a few times and I managed to ignore the calls so recently she emailed me, again I didn't reply. I have recently been looking at a dating agency online with regard to meeting other people, however only last night she turned up on my door at 11:30. Shocked, oh yes, but I couldn't turn her away. I asked her in and made her a drink, I was shaking like crazy. We had a chat about how we were and she said she was getting help with her drinking and managed to talk to her mum about it while visiting her in Ireland this weekend. She said she has been thinking a lot and says she is ready for settling down. I always told her that one day I would marry her and would want to spend the rest of my life with her. She left an hour later after a few hugs.The thing is I still feel a lot for her and think of her most days since we split up a couple of months ago.I know we all make mistakes and would really like to get back with her again. My only concerns are that my family certainly wont want anything to do with her after what she did to me and I don't want to alienate myself from them. However, if I am happy should I care what my familly thinks.I know we will be good together and she is getting help to sort her problems out.Is it worth losing my familly over as they have their own lives and won't always be there?
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reader, becky05 +, writes (26 July 2005):
I agree that its none of your familys business who you chose to marry but do you really want to lose them altogether?
I think you should introduce this woman to your family again and ensure that they get to know her properly, I would also wait until your girlfriend has stopped drinking before you make a serious commitment.
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