A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry this is long, but here goes.All my life, I've never felt like I've been good enough for my mom. She always used to compare me to others, and would obsess over my progress in school and just couldn't seem to see beyond any mistakes I made, she ignored anything good and focussed on the negatives. She would listen to her sisters/other parents bum and blow about how wonderful their children were, and she seemed to think there was "something not right" with me if I wasn't like other children. I was a quiet child, and I liked to read storybooks. My mum still refers to me as "different" because of this. She seemed to have wished for a more confident, outgoing child. I have memories of my cousin, who is the same age as me and very intelligent, being at our house, and my mum being mesmorised by her and looking at me and sighing.I didn't develop a good self-esteem, and have a severe jealous personality. I am learning to cope and deal with jealosy now. The problem is, it really hurts me when my mum, my nan and her sisters talk about how I was "different" as a child, that I was "odd", and I overheard my aunt saying to my mum that "she's not right, why didn't you take her and get her help when she was a child," and my mothers response was, "because I didn't want her labelled." My other aunt, on my fathers side, says I was completely normal as a child; she diagnoses children with aspergers and autism and sh said by no means did I ever display symptoms of any disorders like those. She said I was a pleasant but quiet little girl.I just can't see why my mum couldn't accept me the way I was/am, why was there always something that needed fixing?My father passed away a few years ago, and she was hard, hard work. I had a meltdown one night, and she said "I always knew you weren't wired properly," and I said there was nothing wrong with me, I just happened to be grieving too!At a family occasion recently, I mingled with veryone there, and didn't put a foot wrong. I heard everyone said how nice I was, but my mum later said to me, "you should have helped your cousin mind all the children." There's just always something I should or could have done better. It is hurtful being compared to others, and being put down. Is there any way I can improve my self confidence when I am always being told there is something wrong with me?
View related questions:
confidence, cousin, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2014): There is nothing wrong with you. You may simply be an introvert. The way your mother treats you says much more about her lifelong insecurities with herself, than it does about you. If you want to learn more about what makes you tick, so you can better understand yourself and have confidence in who you are, and that you are OK, take the myers-briggs personality test online.
|
