A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i graduated from a university almost 5 years ago with a degree in biology and a dream of attending dental school. after years of applying and getting rejections i decided to try to get into nursing school (to get a masters in nursing) and attended a community college to fulfill some requirements. i've finished these prerequisites in december.because i wanted to get into dental school i got a job as a full-time receptionist in a dental office because i couldn't get a job as a dental assistant. over the years i've been working my boss was very flexible with my schedule allowing me to take certain days off in order to take classes. last year when i decided to go to community college as a full time student, i lost roughly 16 hours in my work week and haven't been able to get them back (he hired someone else to take over the hours i couldn't work). since my plan was to get into a nursing school anyway i really didn't mind. sometime last month i got rejected from the only nursing school that i applied to.here's my real problem. after getting rejected by school after school (several dental and one nursing) the people closest to me have stopped emotionally supporting me (my mom, dad, brother, and boyfriend of 8 years) and show just how disappointed they are in me by telling me that they don't trust that i'm researching my schools completely and that i should "wake up" and get another job since i've been out of school since mid-december. it's as if they don't take into account the fact that the only reason that i'm not earning as much money is because i actually went out there and actively did something in my pursuit of being something more than just a receptionist. their disappointment in me has caused me to feel a type of anguish that i have never in my life felt before. my question is what do i do about this? do i physically leave and not contact my family and boyfriend and get my life in order or do i stay in this situation and just deal with their criticism? thank you in advance for your help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): Well, first of all the most important thing here is your goals and what you want for yourself in life. I know because I spent 7.5 years in college to just earn a bachelors degree. I changed majors also. I entered college at 18 and graduated at 26. Then I went to graduated school at 27 and graduated at 31. No significant jobs experiences in between now and my 18th birthday. And I'm still single and living with my parents. Needless to say my family has'nt exactly applauded my decisions.
When I was doing so bad in college (because I was) I know my family lost faith in me. But crying, shouting and with a lot of effort I graduated from a very tough college. When they thought there was nothing else for me I proved them wrong enrolling in graduate school.
You know what? I didn't had the GPA to get into that graduate school. But I prayed and prayed and literally cried in front of The Lord for months and he made it a reality I couldn't believe. And because He made this miracle and He did believed in me I put all my efforts and graduated with Honors.
I say go and chase your dreams. When I accomplished what I really dreamed of (Master's in Psychology) it felt great. I feel very good about myself now.
God put you in this world with talents and a vocation. If your vocation is in dental school or nursing don't give up and keep trying. As long as you don't disrespect them you don't have to do what your family or boyfriend want, but what makes you feel right. It's your life, they have already lived theirs. And as for your boyf. well if he loves you he'll understand. But maybe God has someone special for you in dental school. Someone with your same goals.
I know it's not easy but remember that you are not alone. A lot of young adults have to put up with parents' criticism and go against what they believe they should do. I'm one of them. Try not to tell them a bout your plans. Keep your plans as private as possible. With time I've learned that the more you tell somebody (anybody) about you and your things the more they think they have the right to criticize you.
Follow your dreams and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): I understand and sympathize with your situation. Believe me, it is not that uncommon. Many people still have the idea that a degree leads to automatic success, and that is not always the case. It may take a lot of time and doing "secondary" jobs before finding what you aimed for or are qualified for. The competition is heavy. If your parents and boyfriend have not experienced this and do not understand, there may be little you can do to make them understand. You do not say whether it is your family or boyfriend you live with. If it is your family, I would move out. I cannot advise you about your boyfriend. Well, I could, but it might not be what you want. I will tell you this, though,...it is much easier to persue your options and do research when you are on your own and not feeling pressured by others. Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, pakishehzada +, writes (5 April 2007):
i am a student majoring in pre-med. I understand that you are really disappointed by getting rejected from a lot of schools, but if you feel that nursing or getting in a dental school is exteremely tough, and if you feel that you do not want to waste any more time going to school, try doing a smaller course like radiology or ultrasound tech. It is very good money and a very easy job description, since you already have done some school work as a science major, most of your courses should count towards your radiology course, you will be surprized to see the amount of money they make for the amount of schooling they do.
As far as the family matters i dont think it will be right for you to just break contact with them, they might be disappointed but you can tell them about your plans for the future and work really hard this time and show them a little improvement, something as little as your good grades from the school will make them to stop criticizing you if not start supporting you. They are your family and would never not want to support you.
-Goodluck
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