A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Well Maybe I can Make Sense as I write this .I am coming out of a marriage after 25 Years .I still have feelings for my husband , but he moved out almost a yr ago .He is now seeing this woman who is about 3 yrs older then him who acts as she wants to be my friend but doesnt really like my husband talking to me or our kids and doesnt like them even staying or visiting them .I have over heard her talking about her ex whom I think she still has feeling for and hasnt been appart from that long and Im afraid of her hurting my ex and kinda put off by the fact she doesnt like us talking or visiting at all even though there is no flirting ir anything like that but I dont know what to do. Is she really wanting to be my friend . is she playing games , is she going to hurt my ex is she still in love with her ex I dot know and really dont know what to do or say if anything just tired of the hurt and the kids being hurt .........
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNot our case we adopted a baby and he comes over and gets her i take her and all why does everyone think a divorce has to be bitter ??? Its Not Bitter Here at all i just want to know what her intentions are with me not with him ill be here as his friend no matter what happens dont want him back and vise versa we have both moved on as far as our relationship but our friendship will always be there ... So Its Not wanting to know her intentions with him but with me cause no matter what we are always friends and will be have 3 kids together and all but one grown and she is at home . I just dont get why Just because you are divorced you cant remain friends I know alot of people who have done so ...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): Why do you want to know what her deal is? What difference would it make to you to know?
Truly you need to never ever speak to her again. You say you want to stay friends with him but anyone who has been through a seperation, divorce or the end of a relationship will tell you that the person who still has feelings that remain will do anything to keep in touch with the ex. I have, in the past done this myself and I can tell you that unless both of you are completely over eachother, friendship just doesn't work (believe me I know how hard it is to turn away).
You will continue to experience pain from this all the time you are involved. Keep contact to a minimum and give yourself time to grieve and time to build your own life again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNot that i have feelings for him as a partner but as a friend and in any matter will always be friends but wondering what her deal is ......
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): My advice would be to stay away from your ex's private life and definitely dont speak to his new partner. It seems she is playing games but if she ends up hurting your ex husband, thats his business and none of your concern. Obviously you have to stay in contact with your ex for the kids sake but tell him you dont wish to communicate with his lover. You have a right to a peaceful life. Seperation and divorce takes a massive amount of time to recover from and you owe it to yourself and your kids to surround yourself with peace and tranquility. Your ex husbands affairs are his own business and if you try to get involved (however well meaning)your just going to end up 'the bad guy'.
Back right away, protect your kids and only see him when your handing the kids over for visitation. You still have feelings for your husband and maybe you think this involvement will bring him back to you. It won't. If he wanted to be with you, he would...be with you. He has left and has a new partner. It's time for you to move on and make a life for yourself.
Good luck xxx
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