A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Is it just me or is it creepy? My ex-boyfriend and i broke up about a year ago. It was my choice and a good choice, however after casually running into him a few times I met his new girlfriend...who really reminds me of...me. Not in a good sense at all. I mean a cheesy, trashy version of me. She dresses similar and is into the same unique fashion trends and even seems to keep the same type of company I would keep. When I was with my ex-bf I know for sure that I was the first girl ever like me that he had ever dated, I'm talking interracial relationship here. And now since I dumped him his new girlfriend it the same race as me and carries very similar characteristics. Im weirded out....CREEPED out. Is he confused, or insane? Does he know he choose this girl who is a stand in for his loss?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSure I'll help some of your ratings out. No problem. Also I only said trashy and cheesy becasue I think it's very important for people to make sure their clothes fit before going out in public. Love handles and chub-roles should be covered. Big or small anyone can find clothes to compliment them. But on the other hand, yes that was mean and me just saying that to be catty. I actually kind of liked her in the brief introduction. Oh, and starmonster, sorry about the 888.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): Yes and by the way, I think I said the same thing as Starmonster, and maybe even more insightfully and intelligently (tongue in cheek) so could I get an up on my rating too Pretty PLEAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEE?
And I don't know why you are getting so much shit about stalking your ex boyfriend just because you were shocked at the similarity between you and the other girl except that you came accross a bit full of yourself when you said she was a trashier, cheesier version...that just isn't nice.
Really, I don't think he is ON THE REBOUND after a year has passed since you broke up...I think he just likes things about you that he found attractive in this girl as well, it isn't that deep, it is called preference.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): if i repeat what starmonster said will you all up my ratings...i could use your help here people...im talking serious help...this is a pressing concern...much more important than trends and fashions and copycat dating issues...we are talking RATINGS here...and mine need help....AAARRRRGGGGHGHHHH
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Who cares... my ex's girlfriend looks like me.. (I've seen the pictures) but she's not me.. there is only one me, I'm unique.. and sorry to say he realised that and they have now broken up....
I liked her, cause, well, she looked like me, but talked a lot less... lol
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks starmonster for the intellectual response. Very insightful. i just upped your rating.
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female
reader, MSWIN +, writes (4 January 2010):
if he is stalking you then why are you so ok with meeting his new girl..sounds to me like he is trying to let you know that he has moved on..and you are the one that is stalking being that you know so much about his new girl..her hobbies etc...move on girlie cause he has...
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 January 2010):
 I think it is very obvious from your post and your replies why you liked the first answer best. Some people come here only wanting to hear a certain thing and just get angry with the wiser responses.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt seems like some people don't read carefully before responding.
1) I said I was his FIRST interracial relationship. Obviously that is out of his usual "type". I think a man has had a well established type he goes for by the age of 25.
2) I also said we met. He's the one to introduce me to her.
3) I'm glad I dumped him and yes, like I said it was a good choice......because he is heavy into drugs, and I'm not into to that.
I really can't believe I had to repeat number one three times. I couldn't careless how long they were together, I'm just saying it's creepy when people date someone so close to resemblance of their ex. And looks is one thing, but then to add in similar hobbies, interest, fashion...all ot that is weird. Wondered if anyone else experienced this too.
Thanks anyway peeps. You tried, reason number one why you all aren't licensed therapist. But thanks to the first to reply, I think you hit it dead on.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (4 January 2010):
You met and discussed hobbies...right. You ran into them a few times, that happens to plenty of people and usually it's a, "Hi how are you? Nice to meet/see you again" awkwardness. Many men like to date girls of a particular race and maybe a certain style (even women do); even if it has anything to do with you move on with your life and quit stalking his and her facebook and/or myspace to find the details on how similar you think she is to you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): You're funny. You dumped your ex and now you are concerned about the new girl he has. Do I detect a bit of buyer's remorse mixed in with some female envy and some revenge that misfired?
Well, you've learned that by dumping him you didn't hurt him enough so that he would wallow in misery in his basement but freed him to find someone else who probably doesn't think the world revolves around her, unlike you, miss creeped out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe met, that's how I know. Thank you.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (4 January 2010):
Sorry, but you need to get over yourself. Really, who cares? If you were over him, you wouldn't be trying to rationalize why he's dating some version of you that you claim isn't as good.
Do you honestly think that he stalks you then tells that girl to do the same things that you do? How do you even know what hobbies she's into etc, are you stalking them?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, the type thing. Thats what I mean, I was his first different type of girl he had gone out with. His new GF even has some similar hobbies as I do. And to be honest sometimes I DO worry if he is stalking me. Our break up wasn't exactly on good terms.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): I don't know where you came up with the idea that she is cheesier trashy version of you and then you go on to describe how she is very much like you....but here goes.
No, I don't think this is all that uncommon. You were someone he obviously liked/loved a lot, you may be his "type" perhaps you are similar to someone else in his life, like a sister or mother, or not. But the fact that he chose a girl similar to you just shows he has a type of girl that he is going for.
If their relationship works out, then it isn't really about her being a stand in for his loss, she is simply what he wants. If it doesn't work out, he may decide to go off type and date someone different.
I know it seems a bit creepy and it happened to me once before with an ex, but I was also similar in looks to a previous fiance that he had and I didn't know it till much later. "We" were what he was attracted to.
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male
reader, fullvee +, writes (4 January 2010):
He is rebounding, still not over you. Go live your life and let him wallow in his loss. You are the better person. I'd only worry if he was stalking you.
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