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female
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anonymous
writes: Ok so im kinda lost in my relationship.We have been together for 3 years and i have tried to give her what she wants but it seems like we are not in a relationship anymore. She is always depressed and is only happy when she is under the influence. She says it is because of the arguements we have been having. But the arguements only happen because she never seems to think before she acts....ex:She is an exotic dancer she became one after two years of us being together...im not really ok with that but i know she needed money so i said ok and i asked her to not work at a few clubs in town cause they make me uncomfortable(there are like 50 clubs in our town I asked her not to go to 3)but she has anyway....I asked her not to drink at the club she does....and i asked her not to do drugs at the club and she did coke behind my back for 6 months. She cant seem to stop lieing to me ever......I was very sick the other week and had to go to the er....the first day i was sick she stayed up all night with her buddy drinking till 6 am and then a day later left me at home alone all day while she hung with her buddy drinking again.....I feel like she doesnt careSo i guess my question is what should i do .....are we just friends? or is she just selfish?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2006): Well of course she is being selfish but, obviously has a problem with drugs and alcohol and won't be there for you until she gets off of them and that may never happen you should move on you shouldn't put up with that if she wants to act like she isn't in a relationship then don't let her be in one with you that's crazy she should be there for you she sounds like bad news move on and find someone who will treat you right She'll probaly never stop lying and at this point she has lied so much you'll never know when she is infact telling the truth It's gonna take alot of her proving her self over and over again so you can believe her again but, at this point I don't see that happening anytime soon Move on think better of yourself !! Good Luck!!
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (19 January 2006):
 You need to get rid of this girl and move on, find someone who really cares about you and will treat you properly. I know she has drug problems which, if sorted out, may sort he life out but she doesn't seem to have any willingness to do this so you need to get out while you can.
People on drugs often don't care about others, even the ones they're supposed to love and do horrible things to hurt them. They don't do it on purpose, they are just so wrapped up in themselves and their habit that they see nothing else, not even those who are trying to help them. I think if you're in love with drugs, you can't love with anyone else at the same time, not even yourself.
You seem like a nice guy who's put up with a lot from this girl but there comes a time when you just have to say 'I'm getting out of this for me'. You are entitled to a happy life with someone who cares for you so get out there and get that. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (19 January 2006):
 I think you really seem to have a great head on your shoulders; honestly she does not. If your simple little wishes cannot be followed, then the situation will only compound itself in the future. If she has an addiction problem and she has lied about hard drugs, it will only get worse before it get's better. I think you already know my feelings, I'm sorry.
Better luck next time.
Ed
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A
male
reader, summ28 +, writes (19 January 2006):
My friend, she is only your girlfriend in name not in heart. She's showing you that she doesn't care. Her buddy and drinking is more important than the relationship with you. Drop this loser like a bad habit and find someone who really cares about you. She's drinking and doing drugs and exotic dancing(stripping), she's on a one way highway to nowhere. Don't travel that road with her. Good Luck my man move on down the road.
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