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female
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anonymous
writes: confusedThis guy whom I haven't dated for over 12 years has recently came back into my life unintentionally. I was talking with a mutual friend and she told me about him. When she mentioned him, my heart skipped some beats and I was suprised at the way I was reacting. The bad part about this is that I truly cared for this guy in the past and I have a son by him. Although we haven't kept in touch, I always had strong feelings for him and often thought about him. I have had plenty of relationships after him but when I saw him I felt so warm inside and now I cannot stop thinking about him. I don't want to feel like this towards this guy so I am trying my best to ignore my feelings. Before you ask, no he didn't keep in touch with his son, but he has tried many times in the past. I felt that he couldn't be a good role model to my son and refused to let him see him. He has hurt me in the past and am afraid he hasn't changed. How can I get over this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (31 July 2005):
 Honey, it seems that you have come a long way from that hurt and I understand totally with the feelings that he has brought up again. My advice to you would be first to let this man be a part of your son' life...both your son's life. I know you mentioned that he is not a great role model but your son is deserving to know his father like how all sons should. You don't want in the long run your son telling you it was your fault that he never had an opporunity. Just remember that you have control of what goes on and how constructive they spend their time. Even if it is home at your house. You are also in control of yourself as well. Okay so you have those warm winnie the pooh feelings again...take your time. Maybe he changed ...maybe he has not. YOu have to know for yourself. Yes the hurt may run deep I know...all things happen for a reason sometimes...just follow your intuition..I guarantee you it is always right.
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