A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Slightly confused tonight. My ex and I broke up about 8months ago and we both have new partners. We kept in touch, but hardly spoke really - when he did speak to me he would try and get me to meet him or would he would speak about how much he misses our sex etc. I would always moan at him and tell him to stop saying things like that. Anyways, we would occasionally chat maybe twice a month but like each others facebook things etc.Tonight I recieved three messages from him saying "you were nothing but a bitch to me nothing more, don't contact me again, this is not a joke".I'm very confused as 1) I haven't spoke to him in way over a month and 2)when we did chat a month ago, he started the conversation. I don't really know what to think, I messaged back asking what was wrong but then I realised he had then deleted me.What do you guys think??My friend thinks his gf might have forced him to so it - but, if it was her, why now? We never speak!! LolHelp me out please x
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (26 October 2014):
 I would wager that she caught him emailing you (i.e. his "ex") with all of the sex talk, and he did some elaborate song and dance about how it was all old news and that you led him on...basically all of the worthless things cheaters say when they're caught by their current GF's.
I highly doubt this has anything to do with his girlfriend being petty or insecure..I think she was leaving him, and this is his way of groveling, pleading, bargaining, and convincing her that you're so much old news that he'd burn the bridge in front of her as a symbolic "jump into the fire" gesture. If I were the girlfriend he did that to, I would have walked out the door upon finding out that he was talking to an ex like that. He is a CHEATER.
As for you, you should have blocked and deleted him long before his girlfriend caught him. Do you know how disgusting it is for people to treat their girlfriends (and exes, for that matter) in this way, with so little disregard?? You don't want anything to do with a guy who would treat a girlfriend like this, by sneaking around and pretty much cybering with his ex like the ex is a used condom and his girlfriend means less to him than his penis.
You say you have a new partner as well?? How would you partner feel about you sexting your ex behind his back?? My guess is that YOU would be the one groveling and pleading and bargaining because it was you who was caught. Why are you treating your partner like this?? You don't even "moan" at an ex when he starts that stuff up...you delete him out of respect for your current relationship.
When you break up, you BREAK UP. No contact, no nostalgia, no sexting, no "behind the back" of current partners. Basically, if your current partner were to do this to you, you would be hurt, betrayed, devastated and very angry.
Consider this to be the best thing your ex has ever done for you. Let the bridge STAY burned unless you want a chance message to be seen by your partner. Remember, when you're in a relationship, you do not do anything you wouldn't want your partner to do to you, AND when an ex pulls this crap behind his girlfriend's back about missing sex with you, you remember good and long how he REALLY treats people he says he loves and cherishes, and if that doesn't give you a horrible taste in your mouth whenever you see him, just think about you being the one doing the hurting the second your partner sees you moaning with an ex over past sexual encounters.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (26 October 2014):
 I think his girlfriend discovered some of those old messages, the ones in which he told you he missed sex with you. So he's tried to show her how you mean nothing to him by sending you that nasty message as 'proof'.
In my opinion, it's more likely HIS attempts to pull the wool over her eyes and not her forcing him to do it.
It's just as well. You should have ceased all contact with him the moment he mentioned sex with you. That was crossing the line.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 October 2014):
 Does it really matter?
If you two rarely speak I would just block him and let it go. And it's not really appropriate to have an ex hit on you like that (NOT that it's your fault, but I suggest you nip that in the bud by deleting him as well.)
YES, it's VERY likely that either the GF sent those messages OR she "demanded" he send you something to make you NEVER want to talk to him again. Kind of petty and insecure of her.
My guess is.... SHE have seen some of the messages between you two and HE convinced her that it's ALL your fault that he was being a sleaze and hitting on you still.
His relationship is in trouble, and I wouldn't be surprised, if as SOON as they break up, he will try and chase you down to CONVINCE you that it was ALL her doing... and then go back to being the sleazy ex bf hitting on you....
Who need that kind of drama with an ex? Eh..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2014): It probably was his girlfriend. I made my boyfriend do something similar out of anger once. I wasn't angry at the ex nor do I feel intimidated or threatened by her. She is the one always initiating contact with my boyfriend via email. He has moved on, has a much better life, way prettier woman (me). Meanwhile, I get the feeling his ex is miserable. I think he and I were in a argument once and he mentioned he had gotten a email from this ex gf and I made him write back to her that he has a girlfriend and tell her to stop emailing him with her quarterly reports. It was more out of anger about our argument than anything else. But he did it. Nothing mean was said. It was just like, "I have a girlfriend and so we should stop emailing with so much frequency." That was it. Hopefully she took the hint, I don't know. Just leave them alone and try not to read too much into it.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (26 October 2014):
 It sounds like it was his girlfriend putting him up to it. If I had to guess, I'd say he mentions you a fair amount or she found some old messages mentioning how he missed sex with you. This made her worry about you and so to prove he feels nothing for you he sent those. She's more than likely very intimidated by your past together. He's deleted you now though so that's that, you can leave that ex in the past.
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