A
female
age
51-59,
*lskitten
writes:HiI split from my boyrfriend 4 months ago. There was a lot of anger on my part because i always felt he was keeping something from me the year i was with him. Thats why we split in the end. Turned out he was. He was in touch with his ex, but only because of her daughter. She turned against him whenh he left her mum but got back in touch a few months later. He kept that and some visits to her secret. He doesnt know why he didnt tell me, he was scared i wouldnt like it. Which is tragic! His ex i didnt like but her daughter is 18 and has a 1 yr old baby. He split from his ex 2 weeks before we started dating and had been with her 6 yrs. So her daughter was like his own to him.Anyway he did hop back into bed with his ex once after me and him split. She used him. He just went with the flow when he was visiting her daughter. Says he felt sick after. But thats not the problem. Me and him now are great mates and alls well that ends well, he knows theres no going back and i wouldnt because i know where hes been! haha He knows i will always be an ear for him. I have no problem being friends with any of my exes. He was the only one i split with that had ever decieved me! But ive got past it now and we are all moving on.But anyway, he has built a bond with her daughter and her baby. But because he wouldnt pay some of their bills, her daughter isnt having anything to do with him again. He knows deep down it is because of money. He told his ex a few home truths recently about why he left her (because she relied on him heavily for money for 6 yrs) and since he made it clear to her he wasnt giving him her car when she had problems with hers (which i gave him!) her daughter has ignored his txt. She has just passed her test. They do seem to both want what they can get out of him.Hes real upset. 6 years bringing her daughter up down the drain he says and he built a bond with the baby. His mum told him this week they were only out for what they could get!What should he do next do you think?Cheers.C xxxxx
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his ex, money, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (12 September 2007):
hlskitten is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yes ive said that now Tommy. He said last night he has deleted her number. I said i would possibly go round there if i was him, because he really doesnt know what went wrong. And surely he has a right to know? Its either because he didnt get back with her mum after me and him split, or because he made it clear he wont be shelling out money left right n centre for them, her mum works full time and her daughter is nearly 19 with a boyfriend and a 1 yr old baby but they seem to expect him to take back the finacial responsibility he felt for them over a year ago before he split with her. His ex said once 'we had you before her' referring to me, like he was a piece of meat!Everyones told him he shouldnt be feeling obligated now, and he did go n tell her that. Thats when the contact stopped. Hes just gutted cuz he built up a good bond with his exes daughters 1 yr old.
C xxxxx
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (12 September 2007):
The bond with his daughter must have been very week or the Mom's control over the daughter must have been very strong.Either way he needs to adopt a wait and see attitude.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (10 September 2007):
hlskitten is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiI guess he doesnt now, but he thinks the world of her daughter. Hes even wondering now if they manipulated it all the last year to split us up, then when they couldnt get anything out of him, sent him packing.I said to him it would be horrible if her daughter didnt get in touch with you again. His ex played a big part in our relationship problems and it was all a waste of time if he doesnt see her again.C xxxx
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (10 September 2007):
They're ignoring him because he won't give them money. Hmm, hookers do the same thing. Why does he expect the daughter to have different values than her mother?
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