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anonymous
writes: I posted a problem in April about me and my boyfriend. He had texted another girl behind my back. Well everything really went downhill from then. He is now my EX-boyfriend and i feel pretty messed up inside about it all. I decided to give him a second chance after all that happened but i think a combination of my jealousy and also him being only 18 and influenced easily by friends and alcohol when he went out meant he wasn't a good boyfriend to me and made me quite unhappy by messing around with my emotions.The problem now is i miss him terribly. I have good days and bad days like most people but i can't seem to shake the depression and its been over a month now since we finished. I made him promise not to contact me after we broke up - i even sent his belongings back by post and made him delete my number from his phone but somehow he still has my number. He wanted us to be friends after we split up and although i can deal with being civil - i couldn't do the friends thing, it's just too painful. He came to my place of work a couple of weeks ago (i work in a shop) and completely ignored me, walking past like i wasn't there. It really upset me as he was the person i lost my virginity to. Everytime i seem to pick myself up, i get a message on my phone or he comes back into my life in some small form, its usually (once every 2 weeks it happens i've calculated). The messages aren't flirty - the last one just asked if i was out clubbing. But each time i hear from him it messes my head up and makes me long for him. I don't know what to do. Part of me wishes i could get back with him - but i know i wasn't happy by the end of the relationship. But i'm also confused in why he keeps contacting me - friends and family think he's missing me, or i'm playing on his mind.I really wish i could move on to someone else, but there doesn't seem to be much happening on the love front for me now. My family are also getting sick of me being miserable and although i get on with my life and go out and try and have fun - i'm just not the person i was. I'm starting to feel down on myself and how i look as well. I feel like i'm not worthy anymore and that i was stupid to get rid of the ex and that there will be no-one else for me :-(Please please help! I need advice - thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): hi my names dan im 21 so im not that wise. ive just split up after only a year but i fill that i put so many emotions into that relationship and wore my heart on my sleve ive come out feeling worse. i dont feel the same any more i get realy self consious and just dont know wat to do. But wat i found is simple talk to people and get there points of view my ex still contacts me and it hurts,but i just smile and think of all the memorise that i have it dose mess my head up real bad but there are bigger and better things out there for you. I alays think that splits always happen for a reason if some thing dose happen then you wern't ment to be.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (30 May 2005):
 He could be missing you and that's why he is still contacting you or he could just be savouring the power he still has over you. He is being totally unfair. Don't respond to any of his text messages, ignore him totally if you see him. He hasn't grown up and he has hurt you. By the time he does grow up, he will find you are no longer interested and yes it will happen!Your confidence is at a low so you need to build yourself up. One of the reasons why your love life could be not happening right now is because you feel so down and this comes across to other people. Bit of a catch 22 situation really but there is a way out of it. Trying pampering yourself, giving yourself treats. Continue going out but try to be a bit more positive. Consider all the good qualities that you have, even write them down. There is definitely someone out there for you! How about internet dating? You are bound to get loads of responses and then you can carefully pick and choose.Remember that you have done the right thing in getting rid of him. Don't go backwards, move forwards. There will certainly be someone else for you. You have showed strength and determination in making him your ex. Now use that same courage to have more fun.Good luck.
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