A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing this guy three years ago and the relationship was very rocky. Eventually we split, he met someone else but we stayed in contact. We spoke last month and admitted there was still something between us. He says his relationship is ending and that he wants some time to split and get his head around it. He's asked if we can speak again in January to see if there's still something between us.Do you think this is reasonable or does he want to have a foot in each camp just in case? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 August 2017):
 His relationship is ending... So now he is hedging his bets so when it's over, there is someone "new" waiting in the wing for him.
My guess? He doesn't like being single. You have been willing to TALK to him even if it was NOT a great relationship and it didn't work out. So maybe you are willing to put up with him - IF the other relationship doesn't work out after all - OR he doesn't meet someone else..
That means you are the "fallback" girl.
It didn't work out before, so WHY waste your time "trying" again? He is still who he is. Do you really need another go with this guy?
I think to "try" a relationship with someone "we" didn't work out with once is 9 out of 10 times a HUGE waste of time. Some think that OH I know him already, so this time we can jump right into a happily ever after and avoid all the pitfalls of last time!! But that isn't realistic. Some even think that the person they dated or knew 10-20 years ago is the same person and they romanticize old feelings and ignore reality.
THERE are more men out there in the World other than exes... Why go back to a dud? Are you that desperate for a partner that you wish to recycle an ex whom you remember as "having a rocky relationship with"?
Whatever broke you up, is that issue talked about? Dealt with? Or not?
I'd say wish him well, block him and move on.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (21 August 2017):
This guy does not know if he is coming or going and seems to suit himself no matter who will be hurt.If he had real feelings for you he would not have gone into another relationship...which is not working out.He has the cheek to ask you to wait around..till he has some time to get his head around it.It would not be wise to allow this guy to use you as if you had no feelings.He is very UNREASONABLE and unfair to you.You might have deep feeling for him but be aware...if you go back to him..when he takes a fancy to another woman he is gone again.Look to the future and meeting someone new.Remember people will treat you the way you allow them to.Best wishes NORA B.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (21 August 2017):
 Could be. Who knows? But, and it is a big one, if the relationship was turbulent before isn't it going to be more of the same? You split up for a reason. Take the lesson and move on is my advice.
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