A
female
age
30-35,
*eautifulParadise
writes:My son's father never wanted to know anything about his son when I tried to reach out to him when our son was born. Now at 2 months he finally responded to my texts and his mom actually was the one to speak to me. She has been kind this whole time but what makes me mad is the fact that I have to go through her in order to discuss things about my son As though I am some aggressive ass person he can't even speak to. Him and I never had a relationship and I got pregnant 2 months into it. We never have had an argument. I don't get where all the hate is coming from. I have been more than nice to him even agreeing not to go to court so we could settle things between us. He just doesn't seem to care honestly, I think his mom might be the one pushing him to see his son. I just wish we could be adults and co parent our son. I am not interested at all in being with him, I just want us to both be mature about everything. And having his mom through everything is kind of weird and immature. I just don't know what I could do if I could do anything at all. Anyone else who has co parent with their ex. Noté: All he says is that I disrespected him by getting married while pregnant and not wanting his help before but wanting it now. When I got married we had not been together for a long time. Unfortunately I got divorced, but that has nothing to do with our son. His responsibility to contribute to the well being of his son is his. And I have that responsibility too if even more. So I don't think my actions justify him acting like an asshole to me. Acting like he is doing charity work with my son and saying that the gift his mom got him will be discounted from his monthly payment to me... when I obviously could have bought the things myself that I like. Thanks!
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 August 2017):
 Honestly OP?
I think you are being unrealistic about this guy. He "ran" when you found out you were pregnant so why do you think he would all of a sudden GROW UP and be a responsible adult now that YOU gave birth to (his) child?
I say, Contact Child Support Services and let THEM deal with him. YOUR child deserves!! to get child support. He should not be in charge of deciding what you can and can not have or what his MOM decides to buy you. Thus get Child Support Services involved.
The "sperm donor" is not going to WANT to be a dad. You can't "make" him. If his mother wants to spend time with little one, let her.
But STOP having these "fantasy" expectations of him actually giving a SINGLE F about you and the child. IT is his loss if he can't/won't spend time with the little one.
STOP wasting time on this guy. He is not worth your time. Focus on your child. And if the grandmother wants to be part of the little one's life, let her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2017): Actually I fully understand you position in marrying another man while carrying another ones child. You must have been confused and in panic and needed someone to stand by you in that difficult period when the father of your child didn't want to have anything to do with you . Some men are simply worse than pigs. You have my full sympathy. I hope his mum can convince him to own up to his son but if he doesn't then you just have to carry on as you have done so far. I hope the grandmother can share in looking after the baby so that you can work to support yourself and the child.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (21 August 2017):
 It seems like the mother is the one you have to talk to in this. She is acting as a go-between. So be it.
He should not be making deductions from your maintenance for his gifts. That is plainly wrong.
I agree with you that he doesn't seem that interested in his paternity. It probably is his mother making the running.
Talk to her and find out how the land lies.
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