| A ,
*hakagirl12
writes: I have been divorced for for 11 months, and my ex got married to this woman and he did everything for her and bought her the world. We have two kids together and she finally got to know the girls around 4 months age. My oldest daughter was getting very close and enjoying this woman. All of a sudden she leaves and has not come back home for 12 weeks. She has rented an apartment and my ex has given so much money and all he does is cry to me and call me and tell me how much he loves me. Then all of sudden he meets this women who is 12 years younger and while he says he loves me, tells me he is going out on a date with this woman and she is not divorced yet. Also, he plans on going away with her this weekend if she wants to. He said that I just have to let go and have his fun. I have been the one who has been here for him and he says he can't live without me. I am sick of this but I love him so much and he knows it, and is using me for a back up. Help me and tell me how I should handle this. The kids and I would love to be a family again and be happy but he is just hurting all of us. He talks about taking this woman out with our girls. My oldest is so mad and sick about it, she is really angry with him and his life. Aall he does is cry and mope aroung the house, not enjoying the kids. The girls are sick of it. Help us please!!!
View related questions:
divorce, money, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ldsmichlady  +, writes (17 December 2007):
 Show him the road. Don't let this happen. It only serves to confused you and the children. What this man is doing is actually abuse.
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (15 June 2005):
 It sounds as though he really wants this other woman and is just using you as a base should it all go wrong. he has realised that he cant have you the kids and her, and hes got obssesed by her. The only thing you can do for the sake of the kids is but you guys first. Tell him if he really wants her to get out and stay out and to stop humiliating you. You deserve so much more. If he thinks the grass is greener, then let him run off to this lovely woman. You and the children are number one... do what is right for you... dont let the children get caught up in a love tangle... they deserve better to. tell him that if he cant be faitfull, cant stand by you, cant be with you and no else then you dont want to know. Kick him into touch and tell him you are better off without him, as you really will be.... not having to watch him mope about... get him out and start a fresh you and the children, they are whats important, not some silly man thats gotten obssessed.
...............................
A
reader, blue_angel +, writes (15 June 2005):
I know you love him and you want to be there for him when he's hurting, but if he's dating other people and they are the reason for his hurt then you don't need to be his crutch. You can't be responsible for the way he's acting around your girls, but you can be responsible for you and the happiness at YOUR house. Leave him and the misery he's creating himself at his place. You and the girls are not responsible for his miserable attitude and even if you make it better for a short time, all he's going to do is get stronger and meet someone else who may hurt him. His actions aren't those of someone who wants to come back home so you should try to accept that. Don't let him hurt you anymore. I know that that's hard when you love someone, but it takes two to make a relationship work and he's not ready. He may never be ready, but you are responsible for your happiness. If staying around him and being there for him makes you happy, then I suggest that's what you do; however it doesn't sound like you or your daughters are very happy right now. Try talking to the girls about creating a separate life from dad. Maybe take a vacation with just the three of you and create happy memories that don't include him. You can also ask him not to discuss his other relationships and plans with you and your girls and not to have other women around the girls until it's serious. You can't help that the other woman may not stay around, but you can protect your children from the ups and downs of temporary relationships. It sounds like you are at a real turning point in your life so make the best of it and try to be strong. Take care of yourself and your girls. He can take care of himself.
...............................
|
