A
male
age
41-50,
*ayJay101
writes:I have broken up with my ex fiance about a year ago to date, it was a tough break up for me i moved to Los Angeles from Chicago to be with her and being here alone has been hard. Basically the reason she broke up with me was because of my immaturity and lying issues i could never grow up for her i don't know what was wrong with me back then, it took her leaving for me to see the big picture how sad is that and how much that hurts me you have no idea. well i stop talking to her completely about 4-5 months ago, and one day my sister calls me saying that she was talking to my ex and she mentioned that she missed me and that she thinks she made the wrong choice and that she misses me being around and that she cannot stop thinking about me and she wants to call me. This was a month ago my sister later talk to her again and she said she was trying to find the courage, but the call has not come and you can imagine how happy that news made me but how bad the heartbreak of her not calling has been to me. I just want to know what i should do? and why would she have said that to my sister with no intention of actually calling? what do you think the purpose of her saying all those things to my sister if she did not want to call me? and do you think she will ever make contact with me again?
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Hi,
Its very simple...
You both made your mistakes and learned from it. Its the past...
What matters now is that, you both are still single. I believe in second chances and its very possible that right now it can be better than ever. You both have grown and now are ready for a serious relationship.
I believe she was being very honest with your sister. The reason why she's not calling you is because she's not sure how you'll react. The fear of rejection, also she's a girl and its kind of embarassing for a girl to make the 1st move. That's probably the only reasons why she's not calling you. She even mentioned "courage". I understand how she feels and makes sense.
Since you know how she feels, why don't you call her? Be casual, have a light friendly talk and depending on how the conversations develops, ask her to meet up for coffee?
No pressure, start things slowly and try to get to know each other again. I feel this could be very promising..
Good luck!
A
female
reader, heytay +, writes (30 June 2011):
The girl is scared. She doesn't want to go back to whatever you were like before. Maybe she is worried that you will still be the same person, and she doesn't want to get her hopes up again for nothing. If you really feel for her. And if you really love her, call her. Contact her! Don't wait! If what your sister is telling you is true, then there should be no reason why you can't call her on your own. You both have feelings for her, and if you have grown up enough, then it is time for you to make the first move. You don't need her to do it, she may even be ...overwhelmed and joyous that you called her first. You'll never know unless someone makes the move, and since she's not making it.. (:
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A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (30 June 2011):
this must of been hard on both of you she probably hasnt called maybe because of a few reasons she doesnt know how your going to react she probably thinks you have moved on i would call her
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A
female
reader, sleepingbeauty +, writes (30 June 2011):
Keeping in touch with your family is always a good sign. She must have mentioned it in hopes of your sister returning the message that you miss her too. It's hard to pick up the phone and get back in touch with someone. So many things can go wrong. Either, she realizes that you two were totally wrong for each other and there's no sense in reuniting your friendship/relationship or that you guys were absolutely perfect for each other and reuniting your friendship/relationship is going to spark up old feelings. Having time apart from each other has probably, you guys probably have changed a lot. And reuniting will probably return you to your old ways. Maybe it's best to send a letter, stating your feelings and then don't stay in touch after. You will most likely feel much more closure.
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