A
female
age
36-40,
*ib1
writes:My ex suffered a terrible tragedy and now I don't know what to do.My ex of 2 years decided to finally pick up his stuff the weekend before I move (I have been asking for 2 months, he lives 2 hours away and I am moving 1 hr further away). He wanted to get dinner afterward but I declined. The next day he txted me at 1 am asking if I was still awake. I ignored the txt trying to establish some space because he wanted to be friends and I have nver done that with an ex.Well the weekend he supposed to pick it up he cancelled and wanted to come the next day because I wouldn't have been able to give it to him personally. The next day came and he sent a gibberish txt cancelling agian. I called him up to figure out what was going on and he sounded like a mess. I asked if he has been taking care of himself and he broke down saying he hasn't been eating right and over excercising. (Something he told me before; since the break up). But then he also said he hasn't been sleeping either because that night he txted me a man collapsed at his job he gave him CPR to ressesatate him but the man died in his arms. He told me that he was looking forward to seeing me to get the stuff but he was too ill with sleep deprivation to follow through. He asked me if I wanted to see him and that he wanted to talk to me more. He said he would drive down to my new apartment to pick it up. I agreed and told him to take care of himself.My mother then questioned me insesantly about why I would agree to that and that he could just pick it up from them (my parents house). I am confused am I doing the wrong thing letting him come to my new apartment to pick it up? Does it seem like he is in a state where he might try to get back together just because of this tragedy? Just becuase we were together for two years does that mean I owe him anything to get him through this time?
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female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (29 September 2008):
 If you are adament the relationship is over, then I agree with your Mom. Let the relationship go and move on.
You really don't owe your ex anything.
Right now he's going through a tough time and wants you there by his side. He's also using it as an excuse to try to get you be there for him. Whatever the case...it is hard to remain friends with an ex.
I say since the breakup is still new..get the space that you were trying to get. Meaning no contact from him for a while. Until things die down, and then you might realize that you may or may not want him in your life.
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