A
male
age
30-35,
*nknown_619
writes:What should I do? I dated this girl for a long time , we broke up she got a new man and now has an baby she says she loved me and wants to start a family with me but I tell her when shes going to leave him and her answer is I dont know dont ask me that. What should I do? Do I Keep waiting or Move on? She lives with him.
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male
reader, Unknown_619 +, writes (1 December 2016):
Unknown_619 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys so much for your replies, you guys really helped me . I decided to tell her I was moving on and feel much better , I realize I was just The Plan B. But thank you guys so much for the advice
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 November 2016):
 You need to let her go. She has no intention off leaving the father off her baby to start a family with you. My guess is that she wants you to show her attention on the side so she has best off both worlds. Be kind to yourself and cut the contact. You deserve a woman's full attention not just someone on the side.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 November 2016):
 Let her go, OP
She likes to have you on the side JUST in case new BF doesn't work out. YOU are the spare BF. And think about it, DOES her words of love etc. match her actions? No, it doesn't.
She is totally fine with status quo of YOU still wanting her, worshipping her, rubbing her ego, chasing her all the while staying with the guy she CHOSE to have a kid with. She isn't just staying for the kid. She CARES about the guy and she WANTS to be with him. She just wants a little "entertainment" and "fantasy" on the side (you) as well.
Does that seem like the ACTIONS of a person who thinks that highly of you? (*hint hint* the answer is no).
Wish her well, block her and move on. She is NOT the only girl in the World that might be a good fit for you. You are just stuck on her because you have yourself convinced she actually cares about you. You don't have to keep in touch with an ex. And you CAN care for someone even though you can't be with them, but it's a WASTE of your time and life to settle for being her rodeo clown that she uses for entertainment purposes.
And for a moment, Let us step into the shoes of the new guy. HOW would you feel if you were dating a girl, had a kid with her and she was busy keeping her EX around? That she was "grooming" YOUR replacement in case you two didn't work out? Not great, right?
Accept that his girl is an EX, and ex for a reason. You and she didn't work out. It happens. Time to move on and find someone with whom you CAN work out with. someone who is SINGLE, willing and able to give 100% to a relationship with you. Not just toss "leftovers" at you.
Want more for yourself, OP. Don't you think you deserve that?
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (30 November 2016):
 Clearly you can't wait forever for something that might never happen. Tell her you are moving on.
If you want you can give her a month to split from her current partner. I don't think it will make a difference. You are just plan B in case her current situation goes sour.
You have only so much life expectancy. Don't waste any more.
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