A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i've been seperated from my ex for about 6 months now,we have 2 kids and we argue about everything concerning them, especialy since we slept together about 3 weeks ago. He now tells people that i refuse to allow him contact with our kids, and refuses to talk to me how do i deal with him?
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (30 March 2007):
 You are doing the right thing but don't be his "bit on the side", he's only using you and you're agreeing to be used by sleeping with him!
Let him know he's welcome to see the kids whenever he wants to, that is his right. If he's already living with someone else then I would forget about him and certainly NOT sleep with him again! Make sure though that he pays maintenance for your children, he has a responsibility to you to do that.
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have not refused him visiatation, he gets them every second weekend. he whants his cake and his pie, he whants me on the side while he lives with his g.f and her kids. i know longer speek to him do to that..am i doing the right thing?
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (9 February 2007):
Why on earth did you end up sleeping with each other if you argue all the time? How did that come about? Did you say to him during one of your arguments that you were refusing him contact with the kids? (Truth now!)
I think you two are acting like a pair of kids yourselves and really need to act like responsible adults for the sake of your kids!
Eve
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A
female
reader, bindi +, writes (9 February 2007):
well firstly you both need help. either you want to be together or you need to stay apart. You are both pulling on the heart strings and the situation still hits a raw nerve.Try and get marriage counselling together see your doctor he/she will advise but you need to come to some agreement for the children's sake.Prove him wrong by giving him access to the children. Marriage breakdown affects them. you need to keep your difference apart when children are present which is not easy. if living apart, then whether you like it or not, alternative weekends and access for tea at least one night in the week. Children need two parents. drop children off at a parents house as go between, so you dont have to see partner .Try not to ask the children was this said, was that said, ask them if they had a good time and leave it as that. It's going to be hard but stick at it, it will work. Either you are going to be a family unit. if not then you need to do what's best for children and not what you want and doing things to spite the other, Marriage breakdown is tough enough without using children like a pull me push you and you dont need to be used every three weeks, find out what this man in your life wants REALLY good luck and all the best
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