A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am feeling low and hurt. I split from my boyfriend around 5 months ago and got odd texts from him now and then. Anyway started to accept it was over and to start building my life again when put the blue my ex text me to say he was really ill and had shingles ( he drinks every minute of the day) 2 days later he texted gain saying he couldn't swallow and he had put 4 stone on on less then 2 months and felt low, he texted while he was at hospital saying they say he has a over active thyroid. I text to see how he was and offered my support. 2 days later he said he has doctors and there testing for cancer, I was a bit baffled about this has he had been to the doctors 2 days before and told him what was wrong plus having shingles. Anyway he said will you come with me so I said yes, he rang me and as soon as I spoke I him I could tell he was drugged up and speaking weird, I mentioned this and he said it was the tablets he was taking .. To cut a long story short I didn't get to go to the appointment with him due to the bus knocking and then being stuck in traffic, I texted him and he said he was only 5 mins there and that he would wait for me ,I said no you go home and il ring you instead of waiting for me.. Well I got such vile nasty texts insulting me calling me a slag, a let down and that he can do better then me, he called me a liar even though I sent a pic of my bus ticket with time etc and he still wouldn't accept it and called me a liar and cheat and then he said he wished me dead and that he would never touch somebody like me and my jelly belly makes him feel sick and that I'm a disgrace.. It really really hurt and I didn't respond back..I since found out he lied about the doctors and going to hospital. I just don't understand why and why he insulted me so bad. I know I did right ending the relationship but I feel bk at square one and crying myself to sleep and my confidence has gone and I am starting to think I am nobody and that no other man will we want me.. My ex is nearly 40 but if you were to read is texts you would think he was a teenager. I really loved my ex and I still do even though he has said nasty things to me ..( I ended the relationship due to his alcoholism and lies). He has made me ugly and low( yes I know it's not about looks but even my personality has gone ) also I lost my good friend and a couple family members and step mum due to cancer and my exes mum battled breast cancer and yet he is lying about cancer....
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female
reader, MOBell  +, writes (4 June 2018):
He's the one who's low and worthless. It sounds like he suffers from a mental disorder such as Narcissistic Personality disorder.
He lied to you in order to get you back into his life, and it sounds like he's as mature as a five-year-old.
Don't take his insults seriously. There's no truth to anything he said--he was just trying to hurt you in the only way that he knew how, because he felt rejected.
I would run away as fast as possible if I were you and put this creep behind me. Block him on your phone and cut him out of your life like the cancer that he is. If he continues to bother you, then report him to the police.
I can tell that you have a beautiful and caring heart, and you deserve someone who will treat you with love and respect.
Meet some new people and never look back.
Good luck. I wish you the best.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 June 2018):
 OP, you sound like a decent and good person but your ex is not only sick, he is VILE.
BLOCK his number and then delete it.
Stop letting someone treat you like this. All the negative things he said to you were HIM talking about himself really. HE is all those things. He knows he isn't worth a pot to piss in (as a human being). But it's ALWAYS easier to blame others for bad things happening to him, calling others bad names etc. etc.
Saying that no other man would want you... well, that is HIS hope. That you will think you don't deserve anyone better than this piece of shit human being. The things is OP.. YOU DO. But when you ALLOW this piece of shit human being to BE in your life and LIVE in your head, you won't MEET someone else... will you? Because you are so focused on a relationship that didn't work out!
Now you know 100% that there is NO point in being friends with him, being nice to him or even trying to support him.
Cut him out of your life. You really don't need this man in your life. And you OWE him absolutely NOTHING!
YOU CAN do better than him, no doubt. Start with some self-love OP. And CUT him out of your life 100%.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2018): Don’t listen to this loser. If he needs support, go get a social worker. You’re too good for him!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 June 2018):
 It always makes me snigger and roll my eyes when someone slates an ex partner's appearance in this way. They are seldom, if ever, anything to write home about themselves. I bet HE is no Brad Pitt, is he? And if he found you so unattractive, why did he stay with you and why is he STILL contacting you?
He was COMPLETELY lying to you about his health. If he had an overactive thyroid, he would be losing weight, not gaining it. You could have found that out for yourself by googling it. And OF COURSE he is lying about the cancer - to get your attention and sympathy. If he carries on drinking as he is doing however, he probably WILL die a premature death but that is HIS choice.
Sweetheart, his insults are all about HIM and NOTHING about YOU! I know you say you love(d) him but even you must see he is a spoilt petulant nasty little specimen who lashes out when he can't have what he wants. He just wants to hurt you and make you feel exactly as you are feeling at the moment - worthless and unattractive. However, he can only make you feel that way if YOU allow it. STOP ALLOWING IT.
You were strong enough to end the relationship so why are you not strong enough to cut all contact? This vile man does not deserve you. He has one love in his life and that is what he drinks. There is no room for anyone else.
My advice: BLOCK him or change your number so he can't contact you. Stay well away from him, regardless of what messages you may get about his health. He has chosen drink over you. Leave him to it and find someone who deserves and respects you. You deserve better than him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2018): Why are you still taking messages from your ex?
Why are you reading them? Block his calls, don't open unidentified messages, or answer callers who don't show-up on caller ID.
Stop trying to be friends and move on.
You're nearly 40; and you have been around long enough to know that just because people say awful things, that doesn't make them true. You're a grown-woman, not a child. Consider the source; insults coming from a loser and a drunk! You're broke-up, what the heck does he need your support for? If he makes you feel bad and says terrible things to you, why do you feel you need to support him?
You don't make a lick of sense, my dear! You can't read a message you didn't open, and you can't hear a phone call you don't pick-up! You don't have to talk to a person who can't find you!!! The police are a phone-call away if someone is harassing or verbally-abusing you!
Very easy remedy to your problem. Total communication black-out. Let his doctor treat his shingles. Stop taking his calls; and mind your own business. You're free now.
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