A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I can't take this, me and my ex have a baby together. He won't move out of my house I met someone new and we were hanging out one thing lead to another.Now my ex is telling me he has rights and he will make my life extremely difficult if I do not quit my job is where my new boyfriend works. If I hang around with the people from said job. I'm not allowed my mobile for a month. I'm also not allowed to text anyone.I'm trapped worried and scared he will take off with our son I'm at my wits end I'm exhausted I really don't know what to do now. He even went through my phone last night and interpreted messages from a friend wrong and woke me up and wouldn't let me go back go sleep. I feel like crying today he doesn't work he expects everything from me and we are not even together.
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (5 September 2013):
Not to be captain obvious here, but are not these issues things that need to be sorted out BEFORE having children? How someone can lock themselves forever to another human being without doing the imperative due diligence first never ceases to amaze me.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013): Change the locks, get family to be there when he comes, and issue NEW RULES - he is OUT.
Get a lawyer, keep your child, and get a restraining order!
Be safe, and eventually you will be happy again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2013): You really need to get out of this situation, asap.
Like already suggested, change the locks when he isn't around. If he WONT move out, then give him no choice, you and your child have a right to be happy and safe. Then go and see a solicitor regarding your child.
Things will be ok, but you need to get help from wherever you can.
Good Luck!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2013): Don't let him scare you into believing he has ANY right to imprison you in your OWN home?? Seriously he contributes nothing (other than harassing the hell out of you- he seriously sounds like a danger to you and your son...
This guy is a psycho. This is one of those posts on DC I read that give me chills... Amongst other sick abuse related posts. COs that's what this is.
Tbh I don't think I can add much more than the others...Who have given you BRILLIANT legal advice. Go through the council and get a proper eviction. Tell every close friend relative what's going on- and DEFINITELY the police...you need all the protection and advice you can get believe us.
Post an update! Xx
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 September 2013):
 you need help.
if you have family will they help?
if not you need a good lawyer...
if it's YOUR HOME... the next time he goes out... change the locks... call the police...
he's abusing you.
why does he have any access to your phone... keep it on you at all times.
IF he so much as touches you call the police. get him arrested.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (4 September 2013):
 Sweetheart, this is domestic violence (even if he hasn't hit you.
We all have rights but he doesn't have the right to intimidate you, tell you what to do, take your phone and prevent you calling and texting friends.
He is threatening and harassing you and trying to imprison you.
You need to take your little boy and go to the police station straight away or if you can't leave call 999 and tell them you're being falsely imprisoned and you need help.
You will be asked to make a statement about what your boyfriend has said and done. Please be strong and don't back down.
If you have any evidence, great but it doesn't matter if you haven't.
Your boyfriend will be arrested. An injunction can then be taken out to prevent him from returning to the house.
Please, please get help and quickly, his behaviour is jealous and becoming manic. This could be very dangerous for you.
Once he's gone, change the locks, block him everywhere, get a friend to stay with you if you can. The police can supply you with a panic alarm.
Ensure all child minders know not to allow your ex access to your son or collect him.
Staying and doing what he asks would increase his power over you and teaches your son that this is the way to treat women.
Please let us know when you're safe.
AB x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 September 2013):
 He WON'T move out of your house? Are you kidding?
IS he on the lease? (if you rent) or do you OWN the place?
If he is NOT on the papers, you need to have him evicted. If he has lived there longer then 7 days he has established residence and the police can't "just" kick him out. You have to go to the courthouse, civil division ask for an eviction notice for him and have it served. It's the legal and proper way to do it.
But before you do that GO seek legal counsel.
Don't let him have your phone. Once you file for eviction, you might want to have someone (family) watch the baby)
Also, I suggest STRONGLY that you go fill out child maintenance orders but you might want to wait til he is out.
I don't know how the law is for visitations when you two weren't married, but again GET legal counsel.
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