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female
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*hristy O
writes: Help!!! My stupid ex husband just married my husband's crazy ex. I have been married to my wonderful new husband for nearly three years now. My husband's crazy ex (even though she cheated on him) could not let go. She went so far as to track my ex down and convinced him to marry her a few months ago!!! My stupid ex, who didn't have much to do with our two children before, is now filing for 50/50 custody since he is with her. I am in hell on earth. Has anyone heard of this craziness and is there anywhere to turn for advice? Would anyone like to offer me a book deal or possibly a film offer? Or should I just cut to the chase and call Jerry Springer right now?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2005): my ex (although not divorced yet) has been with someone else for 2 years now. We have been married for 16 years!! I will get him back eventually as we should be together - I was just stupid to let him go. When he comes back the other woman will be in your situation - you and she must understand that who he chose first is who he should be with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2005): Leave them to it! if your happy with your husband what else matters, your ex is the father to your children you cannot stop acess although its not what you want its not who makes him have contact with his children its the fact her is! how can he use that against you? you dont need to see him go through a neutral partcipant!
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (22 August 2005):
 Hang on, so your current husband (sorry to use current, I'm not saying you are going to trade him in or anything, just makes this a little easier to understand!) has an ex who has married your ex husband? Phew!
So your husband's ex tracked down your ex husband just so that she could still have something to do with her ex? Crikey. Okay, it does sound crazy but could they both just be lonely? No?
Is your husband, oops sorry, ex husband, so stupid if he wants something to do with his kids? I know you said he hasn't wanted to know before but he is entitled to at least see them no matter who he is with. However, as for suddenly filing for split custody, that is a bit of a different matter.
Get a good family court solicitor and explain the situation in full. Could he harm the kids? Could she? I think a family court would be highly suspicious anyway of this situation if they knew the whole facts. However, saying that, they may still decide he should be able to see the children. That is his right and the children have the right to develop a relationship with their father.
Other than that (the situation with the children) let them both get on with it and hope they will be happy. You have your life now with your husband so what your ex's do should be of no concern to either of you. The only time you will need to do something is if they start trying to play a part in your lives that doesn't concern the kids.
You shouldn't be in hell on earth, you are happy now, right? Let them be; you never know, they may find happiness together.
As for a film or a book or even (God forbid) Jerry Springer, sure, go for it! But only if you want many people to know your business and wish to advertise an unusual situation! At least you aren't all living together!
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, cassie-lee +, writes (22 August 2005):
You are obviously very stressed out about the situation. You don't specify in what way this woman convinced your ex to marry her- did she pretend to have feelings for him? Did they arrange it together as a way to get custody of the children or are they actually in love?
My advice is to concentrate on your own happiness and don't let them bother you. If they get 50% custody of the kids despite any appeals you make, use it to your kids advantage. If they are safe and happy with them then relax and look on the bright side- the kids get twice as much love and fun and even presents! You and your husband will get time to yourselves to do grown-up things and you'll appreciate your time with your children so much more!
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