A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So lately I have been thinking about my ex and how she left me. Basically it was a LDR and we always tried to make time to see each other every day. She's pretty much moved on but I still miss her a ton, and think about her everyday. At one point I really thought of her as the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. However it was an issue when I couldn't see her everyday for me and I would try and make an effort to see her. I missed her so very much when I couldn't see her everyday and eventually one day I began to cry because I missed her and couldn't see her when we were talking. Well after I bursted out in tears like a big wimp she ended it with me, now me being overly sensitive sometimes is a huge issue with me that I've always struggled with it my entire life. I've lost friends and respect from people because of that. Mainly people didn't want to deal with a guy who can get sensitive, and I was raised that it was shameful to cry in front of other people, mainly friends and family. So I'm asking you guys what can I do as a person to finally overcome my oversensitivity issues and not be such a huge wuss in life and finally stop crying in front of other people.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Crying in front of people that are closed to you should not be shameful what so ever. Actually some girls like that a guy can show his emotional side and is not to ashamed to be himself. You are who you are and you should never change it for everyone. By the sounds of things I don't think that your girlfriend broke up with you because you cried, something tells me she wasn't as in to the relationship as you where and you where moving to fast for her and you crying showed her that you cared about her more than she did for you and that is why she broke up with you. She probably didn't want to hurt you any more. Because believe me if she cared about you the way that you did for her well she would not break up with you just because you got upset.However I can see that being over sensitive is causing problems for you. Try and see what it is that makes you so emotional so you can try and control it. Taking up a physical activity is a good idea because it makes you focus on something else and lets you take out your emotions on something else. Boxing is a great way to release stress and worries so why not give that one a try and see if it helps.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (26 October 2011):
 I know that feel, bro.
Take up a physical activity. Rock climbing, weight lifting, boxing, something that will let you work out your tension in a physical way. Plus, when you're sore and tired, it's easier to deal with emotional stuff than when you have a lot of pent-up energy.
Don't be afraid to laugh at your problems, or to get angry about them, either. It's good to control your emotions, but everyone needs some release once in a while, and tears and crying are often just as much a result of the frustration of keeping feelings bottled up as of the problem itself. I try not to swear, but spitting out a good "DAMMIT" early on can head off the flow of frustration. So can shrugging and laughing.
Now, if you need to cry in private, there's no shame in that. Sometimes it can help. But you've seen the results of crying in front of others, and honestly, I think that stigma is instinctively-based and will never go away, so don't listen to anyone who tells you to disregard your experiences.
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