A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid aunts, im in a bit of trouble. This is a long story so please bare with me..I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months...lets call him mike....2 months ago. We were constantly arguing, he was possesive and didnt like me talking to other guys. He acused me of cheating and then cheated himself, so i just thort this isnt working and i told him i wanted to finish with him..I assumed that it would be the last of it but i was really wrong. It started with him asking to meet up to talk. At first i agreed coz he said he needed closure and i thought that we cud keep it amicable and be adult about it.But it ended up with him saying that as far as he was concerned we were still together. He then began ringing and textin all the time, i kept bumping into him all the time wen i was out, or i wud see one of his friends out nearly every time. and he started askin strange questions about me to my friends. My best friend had her car window smashed and someone has graffitied a nasty insult on my house wall. He is also driving up and down my street and wen he see im not there he txts askin who im with. My parents are furious and we have reported him to the police. Now i have met an amazing guy (let call him sam) he a couple of years older than me and has a job in fire service. Me and sam are only friends atm but i no he would like things to go futher. I really like him. My ex stepped it up a gear when he became aware of another guy.I was walking to visit sam and was talking on the phone to him. My ex mike passed me in the street and started shouting abuse, sam was worried and asked where i was saying he would come and get me. I tryed to get away from mike and he grabbed my arm and was screAmin in my face calling me a cheating bitch when sam turned up. He was really shocked and ended up punching mike in the face coz mike went for him. This has all really shook me up. Im so worried about getting involved with sam even though he has told me he diesnt care about mike and will look after me. Im worried that the trouble will keep happening and that sam could lose his job or something. We have contacted the police again but it hasnt done much good, he had a warning and just laughed in my face when he saw me last. Please can you offer me some advice. I am trying my best to keep as far away from mike as possible but we live in a small area and it feels like he has eyes everywhere. I feel like im going mad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): You need to go to the police and harass them until they do something. Have a restraining order filed against your ex. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): I agree write down in as much detail, dates, time and detail what the incident was and go to the police station with it. Start keeping a diary, detailing everytime mike calls you, texts you or has any contact with no matter what it is. And show it all to the police, that way you ahve a record of what has happened.
Let your family and friends know what is going on and ask everyone not to discuss anything about you with him. If he does send any texts to you, do not delete them, instead dave them and also show them to the police, once they have evidence of what he is doing to you they are in a better position to do more for you.
My friend went through this unfortunately. She did everything I described above and the police were able to stop him. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Jingles  +, writes (11 March 2012):
For him to say that the relationship wasn't over for him, put you in a dangerous position. Take pictures of the damage, leave any recordings and texts on your phone, get a journal or a small recorder and write or record the times, dates, what was said and what you said or did. See if there is a woman police officer that will listen or social services. The boy is very sick. Don't let a few police officers deter you; go over their heads if you have to. Get a support system from women who deal with this all the time. Don't wait another day. There are safe places in your area, that are known to the general public. Empower yourself to take action, you can do it.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 March 2012):
 My advise would be to rewrite your question, put as close as possible dates and times and then take it to your nearest police station.
Also make sure you let your family and closest friends know what is going on.
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