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male
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anonymous
writes: My ex is pregnant, but I am in a wonderful relatinship until now. What should I do?Dear Readers,My ex(17) who I (19) was with for about a year is 4 months pregnant from me, but have been in a relationship now for about 4 months too with a very wonderful girl (17) she treats me the best and I don't know who to be with. Before we got together I went back to my ex for like 3 days and while we were drunk that was when we made the baby. I don't know who to be with My recent gf is very pretty and treats me wonderful I think I could fall in love with her too, but my ex cheated on me about 5 times and not just 5 times but with 5 different guys I continued to go back to her. My parents and Brother think it is the right thing to do for the baby. My ex and parents control are practically forcing me to be with her my ex always answers my phone and questions the person if its a girl she will be mean and hang up on them, if its a guy I have to talk on speaker. What should I do, please help me?
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female
reader, uonlyliveonce  +, writes (9 October 2006):
 you shouldnt get back with her just for the baby it wont work and she cant be trusted. are you sure its deffinitly yours if she's cheated so many times before??
i dont think you should be emotionally involved with your ex but you should have some part in your babys life my ex left me when he found out iwas pregnant and totally walked out of my life, it wouldnt bother me but i just wish he'd want to know his child coz someday i'll have to tell her why she hasnt got a dad, and everychild deserves a dad.
a baby doesnt mean a relationship will work it makes it 10 times harder but you can still be a good dad to this baby and stay with your current gf.
anyone can be a father but it takes a man to be a dad.
do whats best for your baby. that ISNT getting back with your ex. x x
A
female
reader, Bethan +, writes (5 October 2006):
 Dont do it!!!
Trust me it is better 4 the baby if u dont!!!
Think about it just because she is pregnant doesnt mean she isnt going to cheat agen!!!! u will lose any chance of u being happy!!!! it will affect ur babies hapiness too!!!
If u love this girl u r seeing now stick with her!!!
U can easily support ur child and take care of the baby!!!
u need to make this decision not ur parents!!!! u will b miserable if u split up from this girl u r with now and u will b worse if u get bk with the other jst 4 the baby!!!
u also need to ask the question is the baby urs?
if she has cheated uit could be any of those boys baby!!
ur family has to understand that its ur happiness that counts!!!
ur baby can be happy
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): My ex girlfriend finished with me out of the blue so i called her but he mum got me arrested for harrasment for leaving 7 missed calls. Now i can't talk to her until she talks to me or i get arrested and i know she wont talk to me. I have done nothing wrong. There is no way of getting in contact with her & she is moving in 2weeks. I do not know what to do. Please help me.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (5 October 2006):
 This girl sounds like trouble and you should not get back with her for the sake of a child. People have no right to tell you to do this, it's not fair on you or her, for that matter. I think, if you're happy with your new girlfriend, you two should tackle this problem together. Stay strong, as people are going to try and get you to go back to her and cause problems between you two, but don't let them.
Obviously, this baby needs looking after and, if you are the father, you have to do this. But this doesn't mean you have to be with the mother: many men are financially and emotionally there for their child without being together with the mother.
I would advise that you get a DNA test as soon as the baby is born. I know you think it's yours but with girls who sleep around and who are untrustworthy, it's always better. A pregnant girl will always claim the nicest guy she's slept with is the father, as she knows he will look after them.
Once you know that you're the father, then you have to sort out how you are going to provide for it. Don't be taken the micky out of, get a lawyer to help you sort it all out.
Don't get back with this girl just because of the baby. Make people see how strong you and your new girlfriend are by sticking together and making this work. When it's all sorted out, I promise it'll be worth it and you'll be stronger than ever. It's not fair on anyone, especially the child, if the parents are togther just because of the baby. Nobody's happy that way.
Good luck and be strong.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): Having been in a relationship with someone who is constantly checking your phone and listening in to calls, I believe you will be better off with your current girlfriend. Your ex cheated on you five times with five different people, how do you even know if the baby is yours? She could be using you, cos she knows you'll possibly take her back. Even if the baby is yours, you can be part of the babys life without having to be in a relationship with your ex. Explain the situation to your current girlfriend, if she is going to stick with you, then you should stick with her, and just be a part of you baby's life. You have to live your life and be happy, therefore your parents or anyone else can not decide what is best for you.
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A
female
reader, Rachx +, writes (5 October 2006):
I think getting back with her just for the baby is a bad move. You can bet that you will end up eventually breaking up again because again you will not be happy with her. You can give the baby a good start and good quality of life regardless of whether your in a relationship with the babys mum, as long as you can agree on some custody routine and financially support the child. I dont see why you should have to put yourself back into an unhappy controlled relationship, if anything this will be bad for the child as I imagine you and the Mum would end up spending most ofyour time arguing and unhappy, babies pick up on this and can take the effects of an unhappy home into their later life with them. The girl your with now might be the one and why jepordise that when you can still give the baby everything it needs without being together with his/her Mum. Best of luck, hope it works out for you x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): i think you should stay with your present girlfriend! you can't be with someone just for the sake of the baby as your relationship will never work out. you can still have contact with your ex for obvious reasons and see & support your child. but if you do try and make it work with your ex, think about what sort of life will it be. would she go out and cheat on you again? like i said, stay with your present girlfriend, but be there for your baby too.
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