A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend and I broke up over a year ago and its been rocky ever since with almost getting back together and hating eachother. We were almost getting back together but he decides he wants to date one of my oldest friends of twelve years. They then began to message. As we're in the same friendship group, we go out together and when she was drunk she told me they had been meeting up and that she was scared to tell me. Before knowing this, he started to ask me to meet up and see where it goes. It's just really messing with my head and im not sure what to do
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2016): He has come back to stir up trouble and create drama. Some friend. Dating your ex in secret?
It doesn't matter why he would do it, the question is why is anyone having anything to do with him at all?
Dating a friend's or sibling's ex sucks. It's in-your-face, and too close to home. I wouldn't do it to a friend or family member; then pretend to be friends, or behave as if nothing is going on. Sometimes you have to let your principles override certain opportunities. Several years down the road, who cares? Only a year later? The old, circling like a vulture to swoop in on the "broken-in boyfriend" scenario is at play here. If she wishes to recycle your rejects, seems pretty desperate on her part.
Assuming she's better for him than you were.
First of all, you've confided things about your relationship to this so-called friend. Wait until she finds out he's using player-tactics on both of you!
He's trying to get into your panties at the same time. He doesn't want you back, he wants access to sex on-demand!
Give this guy the boot. Your friend's loyalty isn't really up to par, considering it's a friendship spanning over a decade. Although she has a right to date whomever she pleases; as long as he's not committed to anyone.
Well, you know what he's all about. Let her have him, and let karma handle the rest.
Meanwhile; discontinue all contact with your ex and move on. Decide what you want to do with the friend. Can you stand being around her now?
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (5 June 2016):
 He's your ex for a reason. Keep it at that. Don't agree to meet him and let him date whoever he wants. If your friend thinks that your trash can be her treasure then let her be happy. Why do you care?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 June 2016):
 Tell him:" no, thanks "(to meeting up) There is no real future for you two. As for him dating a really close friend of yours now? Well. it's a little awkward perhaps, but I'd wish them both Good luck. Him however, I would block on the phone, social media etc. There is no need to keep in touch with him, and it's holding you back from moving forward in YOUR life.
Don't give him that much control.
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