A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just broke up with my boyfriend about four days ago. We had been dating for a year and a half with a brief break up period around 8 months. Everything was great at first and I thought that I might actually spend the rest of my life with him. But after that 8th month everything was different. It was like a fairy tale had ended and all of a sudden, "oh wow, this might actually not last." For a long while now I've found myself becoming more easily irritated with him; we're just so different. I even felt that if he were to end I'd be perfectly okay. We've had our problems before but we could always work them out and then I stopped communicating with him until things got progressively worse and I broke up with him. He's begging me for a second chance, saying he'll change. That it's not fair that I told him after we broke up what was wrong and then won't give him a shot at fixing it. I know it's incredibly selfish of me, but not only do I not want to hurt him again, I can't spend the rest of my life wondering what else might be out there. He came to my dorm tonight begging me but I told him that I didn't want a relationship right now. I've really hurt him and after this, even if I change my mind, I can't go back. It would be wrong of me to do that to him. Am I wrong in feeling this way? In wanting to see what's out there before I settle down? It's only my first year of college and we only broke up 4 days ago and no matter how many times I tell him he won't stop begging for another chance. Help!
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female
reader, AlextheOdd +, writes (21 February 2009):
 It sounds to me that he is a very desperate guy; but it also sounds like you both are too young to be thinking about a serious committed relationship. I would be a little easier on the guy, if you two were spending so much time together and at such a young age it is only normal to get easily irritated at your partner. I would try to build a firm friendship before going back out with him again, make sure you tell him you are still unsure about commitment right now and just want to focus on your education or the sort.
Or;
Meet and see other guys but don't be hasty and don't show off, you don't want to hurt your ex even more. In time he'll hopefully move on (if that is what you want) after he sees your not interested. If he doesn't get the clue try doing group activities together (you, him, and your friends) and leave one of your friends and him together for brief moments so something will hopefully spark.
-A
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