A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi i split up from my long term partner 8yrs and 6mths ago. During the last 3yrs of out relationship he became aggressive and depressed. He pushed me so far that in the end i no longer loved him and waited for a time to get out of the relationship. We have a 3yr old child together and during the relationship he never cared for her, never changed a nappy or took her to the park. The sense of relief was overwhelming when we parted. However my ex now has seen the error of his ways and is trying everything in his power to amend things particularly with our daughter. He his begging for a another chance. I gave him numerous chances in the relationship,and have nothing left to give him. I have forgiven him for the horrible things he did and said, but don't want to go back with him. My daughter and I are happy now, he is finally the father i wanted him to be. All I feel is pity for him, he wants to see us everyday. I have told him he has to move on,he says he can't. I want to help him do this. I feel if he sees me too much it is delaying this process but feel really sorry for him when he is sobbing his heart on the phone. I really want closure for him so we can all get on with our lives.
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female
reader, lost99  +, writes (11 November 2008):
WOW Hi I'm your twin across the pond! I too just got out of an 8 year realationship in which we have 2 children together. I know everything you speak of to a tee! He just hurt you for the last time and you stopped caring. My ex too finally sees the light but can't understand why I will never go back. Its been 6 months and what is finally working is NO contact. We make all arrangements with the kids through our families. What I've learned is any contact and he has a set back. I also can't let him know about what's going on in my life or when it gets to him, he has a break down. I really hope in time we can be friends and if he really has changed then I know we will be. Right now he needs to get over the realationship being over and then well be able to do what's best for the kids. I wish you luck and know at least someone out there knows what you're going through
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