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female
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*eallyconfused
writes: I am so confused. I was married for 7 years. We have two young children. About a year ago I found out that my husband was unhappy in our marriage and wanted out. After he left, I discovered that he had been cheating on me. Shortly thereafter I found out his mistress was pregnant however, I allowed him to come home to try to work things out. This lasted for one week. Now a year later, the legal affairs have been sorted through and I am struggling to move forward. Recently my ex husband has declared his love for me and that he wants to try to "woo" me back and create a life we once had. He is currently living with his girlfriend and their new baby. He says he is planning on leaving her within the next month or so to move in with his parents. Although all reason in me says walk away and don't look back, my heart has been longing for him ever since the day he left. I miss him terribly and love him considerably. It also doesn't help that my children cry for their father to come home almost daily. What do I do? How do I see clearly? Would it ever work? Or will I just be hurt once more?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006): if you both love eachother enough which it sounds like you both do then woek on it together but you be the strong one and take things slow ,go to counciling,dont jump in to bed straight away,try dating eachother again,go back to the way it was when you both first met and relive that spark you both had then make sure you both look after your kids because none of this is there fault and you both dont want to confuse them anymore than they already have.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2006): The worst is over for you, move on. Your husband is bearly going through what you went through at the beginning of his leaving you. If he loved you, he would have never done this to you and your children to begin with. You take him back now, you will always take him back and this will become a habit for him. He loves the thrill of a new love, and right now, you are his new love, until someone else comes along. For your sake.
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (4 January 2006):
 Hi dearie, follow ur reason here. If he wants to work things out with u then why is he still leaving with his girlfriend??? why cant he leave now why should he wait till the ned of the month.Is he baby sitting now!! He doesnt have to be there 24 hours to get involved in the kids life if he wants to.you have two youngs kids yourself why isnt he there with u.
He should starts taking actions and not just talk. until he does that i dont see why u are wasting ur thoughts on him. If you do want to consider going back to him then he should give u a reason to and he hasnt by his actions of things. He keeps shuttling between you and this woman. He should prove to u that he really wants out and wont go back.
The call is your really but my own suggestion is that u should go with ur head.
Goodluck dear
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2006): It sounds like your ex-husband has been a busy guy playing hurtful games with people's lives, including his children. You have some choices here, hun but you need to think with your head and 'not' your heart. You've already seen what this man is capable of. His ex-mistress is finding out 'exactly' what it feels like to go to the depths of hell and back for this man. (like you did) You could take him back and never feel quite comfortable and solid or truely loved again because you've had a taste of 'how this man loves women', if you want to call it love. Or....on the other hand, you could muster up the power of strength and self-pride and kick his butt to the curb, thus allowing yourself to begin a new journey in finding someone with integrity that you could develop a deeper caring and committed relationship with. Someone, you feel safe and secure with. The only thing that hangs in balance here is whether you want a man of integrity and character -or just a big sorry loser like your ex. I have to believe that you really want to make the best choice, for yourself and your children. Do the right thing, dear. You know what that is-find someone more worthy of you. Ask yourself-what kind of future can this man really give you. Can the children withstand seeing their beloved Mother endure more future pain and hurt at the hands of this man? It's your call. Good luck Take care stay strong and have faith in yourself.
Hugs, Irish
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