A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Ex had a kid and now I'm depressed and I don't know why. We dated from 2012-2013 and I would have to say he was my first love. We ended our relationship horribly, he cheated twice and picked the other girl over me and we haven't spoken since. I've moved on and am engaged and in love with a wonderful guy and I recently found about this news and for some reason made me really sad. I'm not sure if I'm sad, or a bit jealous because me and my fiance have been trying to conceive for a while now without success. But part of me still loves him, but another part of me doesn't even miss him. Do I feel this way because he was my first love? I'm really confused and I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I feel this way because we didn't leave on good terms? I don't know what to do or why I feel this way. Please help! Any advice?
View related questions:
conceive, depressed, engaged, fiance, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 September 2017):
 First love is hard, you are going to still hold on to feelings, you will still care even if he treated you badly. But they are only feelings, think about how you feel about your Fiance and your future together am sure you would never have agreed to marry him unless you didn't love him. Also it is hard when you see an ex having a baby while you are trying but your time will come hold in there.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2017): Yes, you still have some leftover feelings; and thinking back about what you had still stirs feelings.
You're human, sweetie! When you breakup; old feelings comeback to visit. You think about what you could of had and how things should have been. It's only natural to feel sad; because your relationship wasn't always bad. The first-love always seems to leave the most lasting impression.
You can be over people, but they can still effect your feelings. I didn't look back when I got blind-sided and dumped by my boyfriend. Only to be told by one of my friends, while he was on vacation, he saw my ex already introducing his new boyfriend. It was only two-months later!
My heart sank, and I felt shitty all day!
It hurt, because of all the pain I went through after the breakup. I still kept moving forward until the hurt went away.
You don't give exes power over your feelings. You purge the last remnants of your feelings for them; and make more room for the person who has found you in the present.
Bury your ex, his fiance, and his baby in the past where they all belong. You found love again; and your old feelings should not override your new feelings. Don't you let them!
Neither you nor your new guy deserve it!
...............................
|
