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male
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anonymous
writes: I really need some adviceon what to do...I've been dating my gf for a little over a year now, and she just broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I love her so much, and i really want her back. She says she lost feelings for me...we were staying together when we dated, when i was packing her things in boxes to give it back to her since she's gone now i found this journal of hers, i know it's personal and i should't look at it... But my curiosity took hold of me and.... i read it. Apparently when she broke up with her ex, because he cheated on her, she still had feelings her him... Shortly after this time we dated.Her ex treated her really bad, he occasionaly hits her, he doesnt hug her or kiss her, they don't do anything together...I don't understand howshe still had feelings for him...Ever since she boke up with me, her ex tried to ask her back but she said no. however, she always still go out "as friends" with him.Why would she still want to go out "as friends" with him when she knows he is trying to get back with her... especially when he treated her so bad...I kind of have a feeling that she still has a little bit of feeling for him.When we dated, i loved her so much i did everthingforher, i treated her as if she was a goddess, i would buy her whatever she wants, take her whereever she wanted to go. We did things, and go to places that wenever done with anyone before... Everything was special...Ever since we broke up, i can't sleep , can't eat, can't do anything but think about her and my heart is constantly hurting...I now wonder, when she dated me, did she still have feelings for her ex? Ever since we broke up i've talked to her asking for a chance to start again. i haven't given her much space to be alone. I've decided that i will give her some time and space and not bother her so she can think about everything... and whatever choice she makes, i would respect her decision.Do you guys think she still have feelings for her ex?I just don't understand it if she does, why would someone still have feelings for someone when they treated them so bad...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dory +, writes (5 October 2006):
Some times us women dont think as rationally about a situation as men do. We tend to remember all the good things about a guy and forget all the things that they did to hurt us. We idolise that relationship and no other can ever be as good because we search for the faults in the new one instead of what is good.
It is possible that he still cares for her ex. But it may also be that she just wants to be friends with him.
Depending on how a person is brought up, it is some times too much to take when some one treats you like a "goddess" as they feel that they dont deserve it! Or aren't good enough.
So don't blame yourself. But it is a good idea to give her some space. If she really loves you she'll realise that she has made a mistake! If not, don't worry you sound really wonderful and there are lots of girls out there that would love to have some one like you around.
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