A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for four years... But we stay in our father inlaws house. My husband has a job but doesn't know how to manage his finances..so we haven't invested much. More so his growing old and is to retire in the next 10years. We have two children one a step daughter and a baby on board. My ex is very wealthy. He lives on a different continent.i am employed in a less paying job so my support is minimal. So in my own wisdom I talked to my ex and he gave me money enough to buy land forwhere we can build. This money has no strings attached.. His just helping me out.. Because he can.. My husband is now annoyed with me.. And basically heart broken. The land has been bought in my husband and our children's names.. Me I figured that he can now finally build our house or apartments for our children's investment.. But him his stuck on feeling. As I said we are not doing well financially and no one is guaranteed the future.. I felt like I was doing it for the family.. Was I wrong? Please note.. I still feel I did the right thing
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (13 October 2019):
 I refuse to believe that he gave you that money with no strings attached.
Regardless of your financial situation, to go to an EX for financial help is wrong. I'm sorry. It's wrong. Any future your children will have is now dependent on how this investment pays off that actually has nothing to do with their dad but more so has everything to do with how generous mommy's ex was being when he agreed. No. I think this is so fishy. Like super dodgy. I don't know any man in today's world who would give an ex a large sum of money, large enough to buy land, whom wouldn't want anything in return. It can come back to bite you in the future. Be careful. Be very careful.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2019): I don't feel like you were wrong, if your husband didn't want his 'pride' hurt then he should have stepped up and been more repsonsible. you secured a future for you and your kids and the only thing that's wrong is that he feels bad about not being able to do it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2019): Yes, you were wrong! You stepped on your husband's pride by going to YOUR "EX" for financial-help! It's the principle! Placing pride aside, you don't take large amounts of money from people; and expect them not to want something in return.
How do you and your husband live in the same household and not workout the finances together? You fault him for not being able to manage money? What about you?
Come-on, you saw an opportunity and seized it. That was a low blow to your husband and you know it!
If the children are from your first-marriage; then put the money in a trust for your children. If you and your husband are financially-strapped, they should have something put aside. If you buy land, you have to get more money to build a structure on it. You seem short-sighted about money yourself!
Sorry my dear, nobody gives away free money. There are always strings attached. Your husband should be annoyed with you; because you didn't discuss it with him first, and you don't know what your ex may be up to.
The money has already caused conflict in your marriage, and that was probably the intent behind it. To show-up your husband; and to see how eager you are to take bribes.
Trust me, it is a bribe; and there ARE hidden strings attached! Consider it a loan! Sign a repayment-agreement to pay it back, or give it back.
What do you plan to do about property taxes and other expenditures once you start building on the land? Do you plan to use your ex like an automated-teller machine (ATM)?
You're being impatient and you took a shortcut. That's how people wind-up in a bind!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (23 June 2019):
 You were wrong, yes. IF your husband is financially irresponsible, the money should be in your or your child's name - where he can't use it. That said, you shouldn't have gone to an EX-PARTNER for money. It's SUSPICIOUS that a man would give you money for free, especially one you used to be with. You might see it as innocent, but it's not right.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 June 2019):
 I think you should have talked to your husband first.
I can see why your husband is upset. You don't see him as a good provider (which apparently, HE isn't) and you went to ANOTHER man who just gave you money.
If I were you I would have put the land in your kid's name only. If your husband isn't good at handling finances, you could lose the land.
TALK to your husband and decide if you are going to keep it or not. And go from there.
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