A
female
age
30-35,
*untress149
writes:Hello everyone! Last Sunday, I broke up with my "boyfriend" of 2 months. We are both on an exchange student programme in Europe, so we both live away from our countries (I come from Greece, he comes from Spain), me for 6 months, and he is here for 1 year. The whole breaking up thing was extremely hard for me, as I was in love with this guy, while he clearly stated (but only when we were breaking up) that he wanted to have fun and mess around with me, which, in his opinion, was obvious (it wasn't, actually, since he always said, from the first time I met him, that he likes being in relationships and that he wants to move on a long-distance relationship when we'd leave the city we both live in now to go back to our countries, and that what he wants is to be with me). He was very cruel and careless towards me and my feelings( which I had made clear to him before), telling me that after a 3-4 weeks of seeing me he got bored with me and wanted to start seeing someone else, that I was not friendly with his friends (most of whom speak Spanish only-a language I don't even understand) and that made him mad, because I didn't even pretend to have fun with his friends to make him happy...and that he hates the fact that I am an introvert while he is so sociable, and that he always has to choose between seeing me and his friends( I never understood why he couldn't do both-I never asked him to meet me all the time and spend days and days with me only). Let me tell you that, through all the time we were together, he would always cancel plans with me to go out with his-very important to him, as he had told me-friends(most of the times, he wouldn't even bother asking me if I wanted to go out with them too).When I asked him why didn't he tell me so when he first got bored with me (it would be better for me, since I wasn't so much in love the first weeks), he told me, "I don't know". Instead of telling me that he wants to call it off, he just began acting colder and colder, not talking to me on Facebook, not sending me one message to ask how I am doing...leaving me confused and sad with this weird situation. There were times when I thought that he'd ask me to see him only when we'd have the opportunity to sleep together, and not just to see each other in a park or a bar or something. I was of course very frustrated, but, being in love, I was giving him another and another chance. Before last Sunday, when we broke up, he was away at his home town, but hadn't asked to see me even when he came back, last Tuesday. On Sunday, I'd asked him to see me, he had said yes, only to send me a message, while I was on my way to go meet him to tell me that he can't come to see me because he was at the beach with his friends.Leaving me with a broken heart(he had said, on Sunday, that the way I feel-hurt or anything-is only my and not his problem, he told me what he felt in the only way he could and knew), he sent me, last night, a message on Facebook, to ask how I am doing, and telling me "please don't be mad at me". I just said that I am fine, and when he saw that I am not talking to him, he just said "ok, I am going to sleep because I have an exam tomorrow morning, kisses...". My question is, what's the meaning of this message? I can't believe that all of a sudden, he cares about how I feel...
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female
reader, Huntress149 +, writes (24 May 2012):
Huntress149 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your answer. No, I really don't want to see him again, I hate even the idea of it. :) So, I'm sure it won't work.
A
female
reader, Huntress149 +, writes (23 May 2012):
Huntress149 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your answers. When I said that I can't believe he cares about how I feel, I meant that I really don't believe it (that I am sceptical, doubtful), not that I am excited or anything about that message. The reasons I haven't, still, deleted him, is that he still has some items that belong to me in his house, so I want to ask him to send them to me in the near future, and the other is that I think of him as a (bitter, but still) part of my exchange experience here.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 He sent the message because we guys actually DO KNOW when we have a good thing with you girls.... AND we also know when (and HOW, incidentally!) we've screwed it up.... AND we want to get another chance to win you over.... SOOOooo, we send you notes (messages) like the one you got... in hopes that you'll reconsider and let us get another shot at being intimate with you....
Waddaya say, do you think it will work with this guy?????
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2012): Of course he doesn't care how you feel and I fail to see how you can think that from that message.
He was just playing the game OP. It's nice to have a woman devoted to you and he might want to sleep with you again in the future so he has to make sure you don't close that door on him.
Time to close that door and block him on Facebook, unless you don't mind being used for sex by a guy who doesn't respect you then it's pretty pointless remaining in contact isn't it?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 May 2012):
 I don't think he cares about how you feel at all. You are just hoping he does because you have deep feelings for him, however he does not feel the same, he saw you as a bit off fun and he treated you terribly. Maybe a little bit off him feels guilty now, or else he may just be trying to get in your good books again so he can continue to use you for a little bit longer so he can have some fun. He does not care about your feelings or you so don't let him use you any more. You deserve better, stop all contact with him and move forward.
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