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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am reposting this as one of the agony aunts/uncles said it is better to post on a monday and I was hoping for more replys. Thankyou. I am a mum of two children, aged 24. I recently broke up with my childhood sweetheart (father of kids) almost a year ago (He cheated). Although we had a reconcilliation in August which didnt last long!. I would like to start dating again but dont know if I have healed enough to move forward. He was my first everything and I still think about him constantly alhough I am adamant that I do not want to get back with him. He cheated on me. He is with someone now and seems happy. I Just feel like I want to start the dating thing and would like companionship and I am also missing male company physically and sexually but I am not one to sleep around. I dont know where to go to meet someone. Im not into dating sites and I cant meet anyone at work as my job is fundamentaly female. People say you shouldnt move on until you are over your ex. I am not over him but have had closure, I forgive him and I have accepted that we will not be together. I do have dreams of sleeping with him but only because I have ONLY EVER slept with him. To be honest I think I am sexually frustrated. Do you think I am ready to start dating again? and is there any men out there who have had a succesful relationships with single mum of two kids?
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at work, broke up, cheated on me, move on, sexually frustrated Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThats for the detailed advice. I am taking everything on board. Lady Mallard you are so right in saying that he werent the one for me. I was blinded by the whole love thing that I couldnt see that. I guess we simply just grew apart and should never have taken the step to start a family (although I wouldnt change my kids for the world).
Collaroy thankyou for given your opinion from a males point of view. I have taken into account the fact that men do not want to hear about the ex and I will not talk about my ex in detail to any guy that I date, especially at the beginning anyway. Do tou know that that was something that I did with one guy I met during the early stages of the breakup. No wonder he never called me back. LOL!
I am deffinately going to go out more and pamper myself more and just enjoy my company and hopefully meet someone. The DVD idea also sounds good. I couldnt tell you the last time I watched a good film. I just put my heart and soul in the children trying to make sure that they were not affected and didnt do anything for myself. Def need some me time.
It sounds so exciting. It is as though I am living again. I am not in that bubble any longer, the bubble has trully bursts and I think it has happened for the better.
Thankyou again. god bless x
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (7 January 2008):
 Hi,
Personally I haven't had a relationship with a woman with kids, but if it were me it wouldn't be a problem. But having said this it would be a problem if : 1. The girl was not over her ex , with the kids I would be thinking the ex is going to come back on the scene at any moment and with his attachment to the children I would be kicked out on my sorry butt. Secondly I would need to know that I'm not just being seen as a substitute for an errant husband - someone to fill a gap as it were.
You cant change the past or who you are. Some guys are put of by a girl who has a ready made family in her wings. You are still in your 20's , a lot of guys in this age group prefer a girl who is free of committments.
Having said that, there are plenty of men who also have families and are out there in the dating world. And of course there are plenty of guys who are more than willing to jump in with a girl who has children. It's just a case of meeting the right guy.
My best advice would be social clubs etc. If there is a hobby or activity you are particularly interested in - join a club, you will make friends and possibly meet Mr Right. I wouldnt discount dating sites entirely, true they do say that 40% of the men are married, but I think anyone with half a brain can pick out these types ( they want sex real quick, they will never give out their home number ) .
Basically you sound like you are ready to get back out there, just go for it but one word of advice - guys are like girls in this respect - we really don't want to know what a cheating arsehole your ex was , that's in your past, we want to know you are over it not obsessed by it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Lady Mallard  +, writes (7 January 2008):
Hey sugar, first of all, if his conscience allows him to have cheated on the mother of his children and the woman who he has been with all this time then he has no morals or values, and he's not worth it.
Breaking up is one of THE most horrible things to go thru, it sucks, you feel alone, u feel unwanted, u can't stop thinking about him, etc, (btw this is completely normal, for some reason our brains don't really help when we break up) but if he can possibly do something as nasty as that, then you were not to be. You say you were childhood sweethearts & he's the only man you've made love with, then how do you know there's not someone a lot more suited to you, and who is going to respect you & love you and be a good dad & stay with you & your children - if this "man" can't do these things then, as harsh as it is, you were not meant to be.
Saying that though, it isn't an excuse to go and have loads of sex with people, as you're probably feeling quite vulnerable right now. I would recommend spending a lot of time with your mates, with people who love you. I'm firmly stuck on the belief that Dvd's were invented for when times of trouble hit you, esp comedy ones ~ they take your mind off things, they make you laugh, and they're a gr8 excuse for gatherings, get ur mates round, stick something on, have a massive pizza have enjoy those who love you.
Also, pampering is good at times like these. If you wear make up, restock your collection with lovely bits, buy some nice skin stuff, some nice hair stuff, and get some killer clothes & accessories. You're probaby not feeling great at the minute, but at least if you can see you're looking good on the outside, that'll help make you feel better on the inside.
Stay strong chuck, this feeling WONT last forever ~ just keep yourself as occupied, as happy and as with as much company as you can and things WILL get easier xxx
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