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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm a 24 year old and very confused girl.going back 7 years ago i was courting this bloke that i still love very much, we lost contact due to us splitting up and going our own ways, recently we have got back in touch and are supposed to be just friends but we sleep with each other now and again. he tells me one day that he loves me and wants us to be in a relationship again,but we will need to take it slow, the next thing he wants to just be friends again, as he says he dont know what he wants.there is another bloke on the scene, but thats really awkward. i care for this other bloke but i'm affraid to go 4 it incase my ex decides he does want to be with me and then i have blown the chance....PLEASE someone help im going out of my mind...loseing lots and lots of sleep over the matter.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006): Sounds like one of the situations I found myself in !
Take it from someone who has been in the same situation, your ex will never change, he'll continue to hurt you and use you. If he loved you so much why break up in the first place. You both need to move on and dwelling on it won't help. Give it a go with this other male, you may find out what you have been missing and be treated with respect !
A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (18 January 2006):
 If I were you, I wouldn't sit around waiting on this guy. What if he never decides what he wants? Honestly, though, it seems like he has already decided, and his decision wasn't in your favor. He wants to be "friends with benefits." He wants sex without commitment. Otherwise, how could he be telling you that he wants to take it slow, yet having sex with you?
I think that you should go for the other guy if you like him enough. But be forewarned that your ex might become jealous of what you have with the other guy, and suddenly start acting as if he wants to be with you once and for all. Right now, you're within his grip, but once you break free, he might be aggravated by the loss of control that he has over you and start acting like he has an overwhelming need or desire to be with you. People always want what they can't have. Don't mistake this for true caring.
Best of luck.
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