A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am more confused then I was ever before my boyfirend left me just before christmas after been togther for a 11 years for another women who has a child of 7 and he moved straight in with her big mistake i say.However we had a holiday booked and I lost the lot and he offered to give half back so he gave some back in jan and when he came around he stated he was happy and asked me to move on and was very cold towards me.About two weeks ago I started getting texts, I reckon about 12 in a week and he came last wednesday with some more money. but he cuddle me and cried and said he missed me i stated he could come back and thats not the first time i said that and as he left i said i love you and he said i love you to so i said well come back he said i can't i text him to say we can put things behind and move on start a fresh but he didn't respond to that but thanked me for a very precious card I got him and he said i look great!!!!I can't get my head around this crazy situation what shall i do??? he text me saturday to say happy valentine and then text me in the eve about football as we both love football and i team not doing that well. i have no more texts since.I know that steve's one of the agony aunt responded the other week saying that maybe he is trying to gauge my feelings about reunion and he also that people often think the grass is greener and that he seems to be the latest victim but what do I do he doing my head in !!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): You had been an item for 11 years, then he left you for another woman and moved in with her right away. Its possible that he is now beginning to regret what sounds like a hasty decision to move in with the new woman, but no way to tell.
There are bound to be feelings between you after so many years. However, when you said he could resume your and his relationship and he replied that he can not, you should assume he meant what he said. After all, having feelings and maybe nostalgia for all your time together, DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN HE WANTS TO START BACK UP WITH YOU. Sorry to have to tell you so. Look at it this way: he must have had good reason to end it with you, and if you're not married after so long, then it most likely wasn't going anywhere - or it would have done so, years ago.
I do not agree with Steve that your ex was trying to gauge your feelings about reunion. If that was the case, then surely he knows you well enough to come right out and ASK how you feel about getting back together, don't you think?
My recommendation is to cease all communication with him and let him get on with it - and you to grieve, be sad, be angry, vent for a time, and then focus on making the most of your own life. Then, IF xxx number of months down the road he contacts you and says he made a mistake, you will have the opportunity to seriously consider what you want out of a renewed relationship.......
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): this is so sad.hopefully you had good people around you over the festive season? hopefully he will come back but i hope you have really good honest friend's around you,sometimes we can be fooled,hopefully you can have real friends and not troublemakers around you.In the long time you will find out.wishing you well.x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): he is taking advantage of you.
he left you for another woman, can you forgive him for that?
it seems to me he is unsure about his new life and he is keeping you sweet just incase it doesnt work out. if he truly loved you he would be back in your arms right at this moment. he would have left this other woman full stop. he would be sleeping in your bed tonight saying sorry every second. but he isnt.
move on. tell him he isnt welcome. dont be a pushover. if he has made a mistake dont take him back straight away, make him fight for your love. have some self-respect and say no to him. he will soon see the new strong you and be begging you take him back.
:) x
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