A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi ill get straight to the point! ive been very silly full stop. I was in a rocky relationship with my ex of four years on and off our problems were only caused to me basically acting like a little girl and causing arguments for the sake of it and being a bitch i was only 16-20 years and first real boyfreind. I joined a girl band and got close to another male this male is eight years older than me and because my relaionship wasnt goin well i grew closer to him.The attraction and flirting was obvious but because he had been cheated on before he was refusing to brack someone elses relationship up,which i though was a really nice thing to do. Then out the blue someone i knew told me my boyfreind cheated on me which was a perfect opportunity to break from the realtionship. He denied this but because i hadnt been seeing him much because of band commitments he didnt really argue with me suppose he wanted abit of the single life dep down 2 grass is greaner like i was thinkin. So straight away i turned to the new man on the scene which i didnt want but did anyway kind of preasurised into it. Its know been 7 months into it with this new male and still after this time iam thinking about ex all the time and just want to go out with freinds and get drunk and work rather than spending time with him. My new boyfreind is eight years older sometimes i think hes perfect he adores me point blank he will do everythink for me, hes got the perfect family life and background but because he is older he wants different things but me not wanting to hurt him i just agree and smile. I tell him i love him but do i? I see ex know and again when iam out with freinds and when i do i go to pieces and so does he, we always talk and kiss, when he asks if iam in a relationship i say no cause i dont want to upset him, but a few weeks ago i saw him and told him iam in a relationship which was so hard, he tells me everytime he sees me he still thinks about me non stop and wants me back, Ive also told him i dont love new boyfreind which makes him think he has a chance to get back with me. Then out the blue me and boyfreind booked a holiday, which i didnt really want to go on but because he wanted to so badly i just smiled and agreed,Everywhere i go iam scared to death of bumping into ex hate it,wont even hold his hand or go pubs. I saw ex told him and said i was goin to finish with him and was going to try gain with him the ex, but when we got on holiday i thought how silly i was being, ive got what anyone would ever want in life security and someone who adores me. Then to top it off on holiday he asked me to marry him ring as well, i said yes, how could i say no? to sum1 this nice. This isnt what i want i would love to go out and be my own person, but iam thinkin if i do finish it and break his heart just because i love goin out and miss ex. Will i live to regret it if it finishs? If i realy did love him i would want to tell everyone and wouldnt be scared of ex finding out and be so proud and happy. Ive know told ex ive finished it on holiday and just want to be freinds with both of them and be single. Oh and ive also called my boyfreind my exs name twice! I am a very outgoing person so was ex but new boyfreind isnt. Ex was also abit of a charmer. Maybe know weve had a good break i know ive grown up and are know old emough to do what we want we would have a better chance. oh god please tell me what to do. Thanks. Hope all this makes sense.
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cheated on me, drunk, flirt, my ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (8 October 2008):
 By all means, don't get married! You're too young and too mixed up with too many emotions. You don't know what you want yet in life. It may hurt him to tell him the truth, and ask that you guys postpone the whole wedding thing, but it'll hurt much later when you realize you were more in love with the "idea" of getting married, rather than the man you actually married. Plus, it sounds like he was your re-bound guy and that's always a mistake. Back out gracefully, and do your own thing for awhile. You need to figure out who you are and what you really want. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks thats great advice ill keep you updated. x
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A
female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (7 October 2008):
 Basically, you need to make up your mind and FAST. This new guy you're with is obviously very much into the relationship if he asked you to marry him. But honestly, if you don't love him, why are you marrying him? If you go through with this wedding and it's not what you want, you WILL be miserable, plain and simple.
As for your ex, you need to think very carefully about why you broke up, and then evaluate if anything has changed. PLEASE, come at it with a clear head. Don't let yourself be blinded.
It boils down to the fact that you can only have one, so it may as well be the one you actually want.
masq
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