A
female
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*s_kitty21
writes: I am madly in love with my ex we just recently broke up about two months ago. We were about to get married and it seemed like he just got cold feet after that things just went downhill. After the breakup I was completely hurt. Then I found out he was dating someone but it followed his cycle. Every time we have broken up in the past he always begins to date someone. After I found that out I moved out. He was very upset about it and we hadn't talked for a while. Then we recently came to an agreement that I would move back in for our son's sake. He tells me he loves me and he wants to give our relationship another shot but he's not sure when and not soon. But he wants me to live with him he never wanted me to move out. A couple of days ago he kissed me but he said this doesn't mean we are getting back together. I have been living with him again for two days now we also sleep in the same bed and he's been really flirty and touchy with me. He knows how much I love him but I never make a move; it's always him, but I'm confused. He tells me he loves me and wants me back but not soon. But it seems like he's making me feel the same hurt he felt a couple months back after we broke up and I began to see someone else. He says he is not doing it on purpose, it's just happening that way. But it sure doesn't seem like it. I'm also sure that the girl he's dating doesn't know that I live with him and that we sleep in the same bed and he makes passes at me daily. But it confuses me because he always makes sure that he tells me I'm not his girl. I thought it would hurt a lot more but actually it doesn't. I love him with all my heart and will do anything to get him back but he has this stupid eye for an eye perspective like he can't be with me until I felt everything that he did.
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female
reader, Jammy +, writes (30 January 2006):
Sweetie he is one of thoes guys who is in it for the chase and when the chase is over he is over with you? He wants control of the situation, he wants control of you. He wants control of his family. I suggest you take your child and find a healthy, happy enviroment for yourself and your child asap. This cant be good for yourself or your child, your son is not going to learn good nurturing family lessons from this kind of enviroment. Get a nice little place for you and your child. Set up some boundries for yourself regarding your ex and child visitation. Take some classes for self esteem, join the YMCA they watch your child while you work out or take a class its a great place. Find a good support group or a group of peers that help support you. You will be back on your feet feeling like the stong woman you are in no time I promise you. The best to you and your son.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2006): I was raised by a single mother, who in the early 80's when divorce rates were MUCH lower, had the courage to do what was right for her. She took my brother and I, aged 3 and 7 at the time, and set out to make herself happy for once. Parents always seem to throw up this staying together for the child, when in reality, the stress of unhealthy relationships within a household is bad for everyone. I can understand the concern, but do what is right for you.
This man is treating you like a 7-11, because you are there. You are a conveinience. But when it comes to the tough stuff, he doesn't want the committment. That is unfair to you. You deserve someone who is going to want all of you, all the time-good, bad, richer, poorer. Don't let yourself be a doormat. I know it would be hard at first, but you have to know that you are better than this.
I reccommend you read "He's Just Not That Into You" By Greg Behrendt,Liz Tuccillo. I think it might have more to tell you. I have some friends that have read it and it has changed their lives!
Best of luck, keep your chin up.
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