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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Ex and I split 8 months ago, very suddenly. It left me devastated. 4 months later on his 30th,he was drunk, said he loved me and i slept with him. Nothing else happened. We argued as i thought he used me. We became friends again. i slept with him 4 weeks ago. I was ill with flu 3 weeks ago and he bought shopping over for me. He came over on 1st Jan and i cooked. I hoped he would stay but he didn't. He's leaving my place of work in a week. Does he love me. So many mixed messages? What shall i do. Love Him so much!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007): You love him so much? What on earth for??? The man is using you - and no, he doesn't love you.
Get some dignity and polish up your self-respect and dump him! He's not worth it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): No, he doesn't love you. He probably likes your company though and, of course, wouldn't say no to having sex with you.
I suggest you look through Irish's old posts as she explains how a man will act if he loves a women very well and your man is not showing any of these signs.
I wouldn't say he was a bad man, or taking advantage of you, I just don't think he thinks you are that spectacular or wife / long term partner or mother material. This is not a reflection of you - it is him.
Maybe there is a friendship somewhere there, but whilst you are involving words like love, and having sex with each other, you're never know your true feelings for each other and whether or not there is any respect there.
Breakups and hurtful arguments eventually kill relationships, and it sounds to me like you are in that circle of abuse that spirals you both down to end up hating each other. I hope things don't have to come to that.
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A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Why wouldn't a guy take advantage of some convienent sex with someone he is familiar with. There is no need to have to learn what 'does it for you' like it would be with a new relationship. In his mind, I beleve, you have been placed in the category of 'friends with benefits.' Nothing more. My best advice... stop sleeping with him, it's messing with your head, he is taking advantage of what is a pretty good arrangement for him.... he has his freedom and a source of convienent sex.
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A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (4 January 2007):
 To me this guy sounds like he wants his cake and eat it!
If I was you I would start to distance yourself from this guy before you get even more hurt.
I don't mean you can't be friends but stop sleeping with him!
Look around for someone new make your life busy and have fun meeting new people.
I know it hurts right now, but you will find someone who will care for you and not just want you for one thing!
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