A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I dated and had a baby in high school, we were together 2 years. After we broke up he started seeing someone. On two occasions he asked me how I felt about him and I said I no longer have feelings, which was a lie.We both have moved on and gotten married to other people. His mom is the go between when we hand off our son and we have no contact. Before when I would see him and his new wife out he would stare at me and give me a little smile.Last night, I saw him out alone, and he made it a point not to look in my direction. I find this amusing since we are adults and share a child. Why does he act this way?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): now that a few days has passed since the incedent I can say- I think it bothered me because it seemed a little like a slap in the face. But I have to understand he may not be in the same frame of mind I am. I realize I shouldn't take it personally and it doesn't really matter. In fact it is totally possible he was in a hurry. I am going to keep things the same, his wife has ALWAYS been resentful and jealous of our son, so much so in fact she doesn't speak to him. (story for another time) We sat the ground work early and there is no reason to change things. Thanks so much for your responses.
A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (17 February 2011):
 I can understand why you are upset, but try not to dwell on it. Next time you are out, say a simple, “hello” to this man and his wife. Your son spends a lot of time with his father and his stepmother, so the important thing is to remain on good terms with them.
Given your age, I am guessing your son is about 8 years old (give or take a couple years). That means your husband’s mother has been the go-between for quite some time. I imagine she has developed a close relationship with your son, so it might be best to keep things the way they are. The only reason I say this is because it could cause more harm then good, by changing the routine. In addition, the father’s wife might not be so open to your sudden desire to contact him. I know your intentions are good, but she may not see it that way. As a result, she could begin resenting your son. Do you understand what I mean?
If it really bothers you, you could speak with his mother, and let her know you thought it might be easier if you had some way of contacting the father, at times when you needed a quick answer to a question. For example, you could say something like, “Do you think it would be a good idea if I had a way to contact the father, in times of emergency, or when I need a quick answer to something? What are thoughts about that?” If she doesn’t seem open to this idea, I wouldn’t press the matter any further. Also, she may want to discuss it with him before giving you an answer.
I look forward to hearing your response to my suggestions. What do you think you will do?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): I talked to him three years ago just before we both got married. It was a very civil conversation. I do not have feelings for him, sometimes it would be earier to go directly to him with an issue regarding our son then his mom, and wait for his reply. I was a little insulted at his behavior to say the least.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Just ask him.
Were you very emotional or dramatic in your past relationship? Did he ever accuse you of being over reactive or too sensitive? It's possible he is trying to avoid any unexpected surprises thrown his way or emotions from you he wishes to avoid.
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A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (16 February 2011):
From what you’ve told us, the two of you have moved on with your lives. If his mother is the go-between, it appears that you two ended your relationship on a bad note. Perhaps he feels bad about the way he treated you, and he thinks you hold a grudge against him. Maybe he keeps his distance out of respect with his wife. Without knowing more information, it’s really hard to say.
When was the last time you actually spoke with him? Do you still have feelings for him?
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