A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mother moved away without telling me or my dad. I don't know where she's living now, and my dad is buried in debt because of her.She did some things that I felt were very wrong (like stealing things from the house), so I just didn't even have the guts to talk to her for two weeks. My mind was in mush and I needed to get my head straight.So finally, today I texted her about some stuff she left here, asking what she wanted to do with it. Among many rude things she said, she asked if my dad knew about me being engaged.The thing is, my boyfriend proposed a month ago and we decided to keep it a secret, as my family is very complicated and we have a somewhat significant age difference (but that's not even the point here).It's our right to choose when to tell people, and we chose to keep it quiet for some months. However, my mom heard us once, so she knew. In the beginning she was very supportive, but now that she realized I don't support her choices, she's threatening saying it to my father. Me and my boyfriend don't want him to know because we want to take the engagement slowly, and my dad would just pressure us very much.What should I do? I was already so stressed, and this is making me even worse!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 i think long and/or secret engagements are silly and game playing.
take the winds out of her sails... break the engagement and date your boyfriend till you are ready to be a grown up and share your joy with everyone.
I assume you don't have a ring and you and the boyfriend are just like... yeah sure we'll get married one day.... USELESS...
how significant is your age gap? does he have kids close to your age? is that part of the complication? or perhaps he's still legally tied to another woman?
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