A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I sadly found out just B4 christmas that my husband of 5 years had been emotional cheating on me via emails and texts etc...I had my suspisions and caught hm emailing some random lady on an i phone app, it was quite sexual stuff but it was clear they had never met but it hurt me all the same,(its almost the same sort ofthing as veron kay was suppose to have done)over the5 years although he swears he has never slept with anyone elseAlthough I found out there has been at least 5 other women over the years he has secrectly been emailing never sexual but still behind my back, he says cause of his childhood, he needs constant attention from women (even though he admitted I give him loads and the best sex he has ever had)When I caught him, I chucked him out...he came to pickhis stuff up and asked me to reconsider and offered a few things1.To destroy his phone and not have one2.to cancel his hotmail account3.to be contactable day and night via a landline of wherever he is.4.That we would go to relate and try to sort it out and he would pay!!So IU agree to give him one last chance as long as he stuck to those things, we started going to relateand the lady said we had the foundations of a great realationship and she belived we really loved each other and wanted it to work..Cutting a long story short our final session ended as a couple 2 weeks ago and she suggested he go alone as she feels he has to do some work alone (cause of his bad childhood)but the problem is I still dont trust him.....hes trying so so hard and being the perfect husband but all I can think is he is a liar....I mean I want to forgive him, I mean hes never had "sex" with anyopne else, so why cant I move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello everyone
Thanks kindly for your comments, apart from the first one....I very much am not wallowing, I am just very very hurt...you trust someone, share your life, home and have a child with them and they tell you its just you forever and then you find them talking to some old dog(she know he was married!) talking about the size of her tits etc...its the disceit and the lies more than the actions that have hurt me...I'm not some old frump but I took my marriage vows seriously..the fore saking all other bit....
I will give myself more time and just try to put it all to the back of my head and enjoy being a couple again..he is a good guy really and worth the investment...thanks again
A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 You only recently found out about his emotional affairs and four months is not nearly enough time to truly "move on". He's going through therapy, which is good, but you still have a long way to go before you feel comfortable trusting him again. I think your feelings are normal and are part of the healing process. In time you will trust again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): I experienced this a couple of years ago. Be patient and keep talking to your husband. I know it will be difficult but you will need to support him as he goes through therapy so you become close again. Share your feelings/insecurities/trust issues with him and let him reassure you. It does get better and the trust does come back. I was clear with my partner that there would be no more chances and two years later our relationship is better than before because all of the issues are out in the open and have been resolved. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): previous answer seems a bit harsh.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 You can't move on because you are wallowing in your own self pity and self righteousness.
Nobody is perfect .Forgive him and move on .Live in the present and let the past go.
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