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anonymous
writes: I recently met a woman through e-harmony and I have to admit that after a year of dating and a year of phone conversations I finally came across a woman whom I cherish. After years of looking I finally met a woman I knew the first time I saw her I was going to marry her. We grew very close over two months through phone calls and letters, cards and stuff. We met a couple of days ago and now everything seems like it is ruined. What happened was that I met her for the first time and within fifteen minutes of our meeting one another she explains to me about her marriage of three years. How it was a marriage of convience not one born out of love, there was no honeymoon, he has no key to her home, it is a marriage on paper. But to me it is still a marriage. she's had two boyfriends in three years and never told them anything, I'm there fifteen minutes and she tells me because she says she simply cannot lie to me. I stayed with her for twenty four hours, and at one point she asked me if I was having a good time being there. I lied to her and said yes. But I was hurting inside and I knew she didn't believe me. She said I made her feel like we were buddies, just friends and that we weren't clicking. Of course we weren't clicking..........how much passion can I have towards a married woman?How can she click with someone who lost his self confidence? I left the next morning and before I left I explained to her my feelings regarding the marriage. I thought of her on the drive home which took three hours and all that I could think of was much of a fool I was leaving her there, my heart keeps telling me that my place is there with her, near her anything closer to her than where I am now. We spoke tonight and we both admitted that we've been very sad at how things turned out, I knew she was feeling the same way, I've cried too much in 24 hours too. We both agreed that we needed time to let this thing cool down and that we'll talk in a week. We both had the same hopes and feelings about our future together. Should I just go to her in a week and tell her I want to be there with her, that despite the marriage she can just divorce him and we'll move on towards a positive future? She's admitted to me that she feels nothing more than friendship for me and I can't help but think that it is due mostly in part to my reaction about her marriage. She admitted to me that when she met me there was a spark, and then a few hours later it was gone. Should I just go to her instead of talking on the phone and tell her everything I feel? Any advice is welcome, I feel very lost.
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confidence, divorce, married woman, move on, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, jules, writes (2 February 2005): Your story has really touched me. My first reaction is what do you have to lose but to tell her how you really feel? If she really doesnt feel anything but friendship towards you, I think she wil tell you from what she has said already. If her change in feelings is just due to how you reacted then she will have to opportunity to tell you also. You really don't ahve anything to lose.I really hope this helps you to decide what is best for you!
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