A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have a strange problem. I'm a young woman living in Canada, and for the past 3 years I've had feelings for this man that I met while on vacation in France. We met, traded numbers and addresses, and became penpals. I developed a weird little "e-crush" on him. A few months ago I went to visit him and stayed at his house and things were incredible and I found out he feels the same way I do.Now I'm back in Canada and planning on seeing him again: in 2 weeks, and then again a few months from now. The other day he referred to me as his girlfriend and said that he was so happy we were finally dating. This caught me off guard a bit because I didn't know we were really dating.I like him, so very much. And I really desperately want things to work out with him because I care about him deeply, even if it has to be long distance. So the fact that he says we're dating should make me happy. Instead I feel...weird. It almost feels like this relationship isn't real. I hesitate to call him my boyfriend because he lives in another country and other people would think this was ridiculous.It just doesn't seem like a regular relationship. Technically, we're together, we're not seeing other people, he's called me his girlfriend. Under normal circumstances I would call him my boyfriend, but since he lives so far away, I feel weird doing that, even though I love the idea of dating him, even if it's long distance.I don't get what my problem is. The relationship just doesn't feel real. It's like it hasn't sunk in yet that we're actually dating. Any advice?
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female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (22 May 2007):
 You dont feel it is real because it ISNT real. Because of the huge distance you can only see each other rarely and in a vacation setting. This isnt real life. If you could see each other regularly and in 'normal' situations you might feel differantly. Chatting on the net, talking on the phone and seeing each other for short times in fantasy situations does not make for a real relationship. Anyone can be wonderful for a week and on vacation. Try being wonderful for the long term and in real life with work to do, bills to pay, etc. That shows what they are really like! It is great that you two are starting to see each other in person sometimes and that you both hope something more will come of this, but you are right to hold back a little bit.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): Hay i think you've kind of answered your own question, I think your feeling this way because of the distance between you both. its not like a 'regular' b/f g/f sinario you can't call each other up and fix a date for the weekend or introduce him to your friends and family at the drop of a hat when you guys want to see each other its going to need planning and organising and if your happy to do that then great! You clearly feel something for this man don't deny yourself that happiness. chances are if you start to refere to him as a b/f then you will get used to the idea and it will start to feel normal and good. Don't worry its something new to you and new stuff always feel weird at first especially when emotions get in the way.If your still in doubt maybe just have a chat with him, i get the impression the two of you are close.Be happy and go get him. Hope your next trip will be just as fantastic as the last.Take Carexx
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (22 May 2007):
 He probably got the wrong idea, especially if you stayed at his house. Make it clear that you just wanted a friend. If you don't feel any spark, there is no point in pursuing it.
DV1
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