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*enjiluver
writes: I'm in love with this 17 year old but I'm 13 and he likes me, but I don't know how much. If we did go out I could only go out with him for 4 months befor he goes illegal! What do i do? I don't even know if my mom will allow me to go out with him! Gosh I am so in love with him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): Me and my boyfriend have quite an age gap, but the problem doesn't lie with our parents but with our peers. My close friends are OK with the fact that the age gap is large (I'm 16 and he's very nearly 14), but some people take the mickey and think it's wrong. You wouldn't want to become a victim of bullying, so be careful who you tell.There are two main things to consider - a. how far you go with this guy, and b. both of your maturity levels. Are you really ready to go out with someone so much older than you? You must remember that if he is mature then he will respect you and won't make you go further than you want to or what is legal. If he is immature he may pressurise you into doing things you do not want to do or that are illegal. However, if you both are mature, you love each other and you don't go further than what both of you feel you should, then it could work.As for meeting your parents, let him meet them before you are going out, or at least before your parents know that you are. My parents knew my boyfriend before we were going out and they liked him and could see that he was mature for his age. I suppose it's different for your parents because you are the younger one in the couple, they don't know if they can trust this guy, whereas I am the older one and my parents knew they could trust me. My boyfriend's mum (who already knew me) was sceptical at first but I have tried to prove that I am responsible, and I think it has worked. Remember that if your parents don't like the idea,it's only because they are trying to protect you.But as I said, he may not be looking for the same things as you are, so be very careful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2005): Hey, I'm 18 and my g/f 15. In relation to birthdays it's pretty much 4 years difference in age. Her parents know and as far as I know they don't have a problem with it.We haven't had sex yet, but hey, it's gotta be better when both of us are ready. I've managed to wait 18 years I don't think a few more will hurt.Well anyway the point I'm trying to make is: tell your parents. I'm sure that once they meet him, they'll probably like him. It worked for me, and I was really worried about it, but it all worked out in the end.Just don't go rushing into anything. Better safe than sorry!Hope my experience is of some help to you.B
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2005): When I was 13 I went out with a guy that was 17 and my mum didn't like it at first, but she soon came round.
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 April 2005):
 Hi Sweetie,Be sure you're not putting the cart before the horse. Before you fall completely in love, it might be wise to think about whether his actions indicate that he's really interested in you.Your 17-year-old may well "like" you, but that's not the same thing as thinking of you in a romantic way. Be sure that you're not letting your hopes cloud your judgement when it comes to the way he speaks to you and acts. To put it another way, imagine that you were seeing him with your best friend. If you saw them doing the exact things that you and your 17-year-old do, would you say to yourself, "Wow, look at the sparks between those two!" Or would you say, "She looks like she's in love with him..."Big difference.At your ages, the difference in years looks big, even when it's not, and 4 years is a pretty big gulf. Not un-crossable, but big. This guy might just enjoy your company as a friend... but there are worse fates than that! At least as his friend, you get to spend time with him.But on the other hand, maybe he is interested. If that's so, you must **definitely** speak to your mom and tell her that you want to go out with him. Try to sneak around behind her back and you'll fail. (Spoken from experience.) Mothers everywhere have ways of knowing what's going on -- and one of those ways is that somebody else is bound to see you... and tell her.If you want to go out with him, you need to have your parents behind your choice, and that will mean that he'll need to introduce himself to them, so that they know he's not just some creep that tried to pick up up at a bus station.Whatever you do, don't go out with him without telling your folks. 17-year-olds have one overriding interest, and being 13, female and alone with a guy that age is a good way to end up having non-consensual and unenjoyable sex. Take it from me!
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