A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello I really need some help with this. I have two dogs one female one male. My Partner has one. we have been together for sometime now BUT my male dog when introduced to his keeps going for him. This is starting to put a strain on our relationship. I don't want to have to re home him BUT if this continues I don't know what else to do. I love my dog but I love my partner too, what would you do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): "I do dominate over my dog, also I pin him down a few times so he knows who's boss so to speak, "This is the absolute wrong thing to do. This is what causes aggression in many, many, cases. It's old fashioned bad advice based on myths, it has long since been disproven, and will only serve to get you bitten one of these days. In fact, the famous authors "the Monks of New Skete" who used to instruct in their popular dog-training books how to do this alpha rolling to establish your dominance, have since reversed their position and retracted it and say don't do it.I am a volunteer for an animal shelter, I have worked with and trained shelter dogs for 5 years, including rehabilitating aggressive dogs so they can be adopted out. I have also owned German Shepherds, Rottweilers and Pit Bulls, and in the past have trained my German Shepherds in protection sports ("schutzhund"). In your situation, it's best if both the male dogs be neutered or at least one of them. You think it's bad now, wait til the female is in heat. They will kill each other, literally."The reason I have NOT neutered him yet is because my last dog ( his since passed) turned very nasty after having it done and bit a woman who was casually walking past us with her baby in a pram, it was awful, took a chunk out of her leg"It is extremely unlikely that the bite was caused by his neutering. A lot of times, the way you train the dog can cause or build up aggression in him. Alpha rolling and other old fashioned "dominance" methods often do this. Basically, you have to take leadership and set boundaries for your dog!! But you do this by being a 'smart' leader, not by resorting to physicality or operating on the false assumption that you are mimicking wolf pack leader behavior. You establish your leadership by controlling the resources he wants (like food, toys, access to play and so on), not by giving praise if he does good and physical punishments if he doesn't. Once you go down the road of relying on physical corrections, it's an arms race between you and your dog to see how much he can tolerate and habituate to and how much more you can dish out.Try doing this if you don't want to get a trainer (though it's highly recommended that you do): have your partner and his dog on leash outside the house, on neutral territory such as in a park. Then you bring your dog, on leash to the park but NO choke collar, prong collar, shock collar or any other 'corrective' device. I don't know if you use these tools but in general from my work with animals I find that people who alpha roll their dogs also tend to rely on these other correction devices. Best is to use a front clip harness body harness (where the leash clips at the dog's chest) if your dog lunges and pulls a lot. The reason is you don't want your dog to experience getting choked/pinched/shocked if he lunges on leash while looking at the other dog or else he associates that unpleasant sensation with the other dog and will hate him even more. You should carry a lot of very tasty food like chunks of sausage or chicken. Dont' use just biscuits, most dogs find that boring. It should be chunks that are meaty and moist. Then, you and your dog should approach your partner and his dog from a distance. Watch your dog's body language carefully. The minute your dog starts to notice your partner's dog and has maybe stiffened and ears are up, but has NOT yet gotten excited/aggressive, start feeding your dog. Even if he starts to get tense, keep feeding him. You are NOT rewarding him for being tense, you are using the food to overwrite his negative association with that dog, and replacing it with a positive feeling. Then, bring your dog home, do not bring him any closer to your partner's dog. Repeat this for several days. Again, use extremely yummy food, make sure it's stuff that your dog loves. Always, be on neutral territory not in the house, and only bring your dog close enough to the other dog that he doesn't go nuts. But once he starts to be less tense at that distance seeing the other dog, then next time go a little closer, but not so close he gets really aggressive. If he is so fixated on your partner's dog that he wont' take your food, then you're too close and you need to back up until you can feed him the food. Your goal is to gradually - over many sessions in the park - be able to bring your dog closer until he is right where the other dog is, and is not getting tense or aggressive. You have to feed him the food each time because you want to reinforce to him the association of feeling 'happy' when he is with the other dog, so that he won't feel the need to "go after" the other dog. Your goal is to repeat this exercise over many days or weeks and that is the ONLY contact your dog has with your partner's dog. Ideally, both dogs should not be in the same house during this time. If you must bring your dog into your partner's house or vice versa, then you as the dog's "leader" need to set the house up such that you can keep them in different rooms so that your dog does not ever get a chance to backslide when no one is looking and "have a go" at the other dog. The two dogs must not be in the same room. Put up baby gates at all the entrances so you can keep them in different rooms. Every time he repeats the "having a go" behavior, you have canceled out whatever training you did to recondition him to feel more positive. there are some unique situations where two dogs just can never get along. Some times there just isn't anything to be done but to have the house permanently baby-gated so the dogs are never in the same room together (or to re-home one of them). But most cases, it is because the owners ran out of time or patience or attention span to complete the training correctly because sometimes it can take months of consistent work which can be tiring. Or the owners get sloppy and careless in their training and cause the dogs to backslide into their old aggressive habits. If you don't have the time or patience to be persistent and consistent in training, then the only thing to do is to permanently baby-gate up the house and never have the dogs in the same room together. Otherwise, this baby-gating should only be necessary during the training phase when you need a break and don't want to be in "training mode" yet for whatever reason must have both dogs in the same house. BUT the important thing is that in between the training sessions you must not allow your dog to have free access to your partner's dog or there WILL inevitably be a backslide where your dog once again "goes after" your partner's dog and that cancels out whatever progress you made so far in training. A lot of owners make some progress in training, then get careless and cause their dogs to backslide, so they start over, then backslide again, and so they forever keep themselves stuck. The important thing is to train consistently and correctly, and IN BETWEEN the training sessions, to prevent opportunities for backsliding. This is how you become your dog's "leader" - by organizing his life and controlling his access to opportunities to misbehave.It's really much better if you can get a trainer for just a couple of sessions. But again, you should not get a trainer who uses the old fashioned "dominance method" like alpha-rolling, or using choke chain or pinch collar corrections, as that is more likely to make the problem worse than better.I don't live in the UK, but from talking with friends in the UK who are animal shelter workers, this is a good resource to find a dog trainer who uses modern, scientifically-sound methods (not outdated inefficient and problemmatic "dominance based" methods)http://www.apdt.co.uk/
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha 1
I do dominate over my dog, also I pin him down a few times so he knows who's boss so to speak, however he really is acting up with my partners dog , his never been like it before, and his had NO trauma in his life for him to act this way. I would say it's jealousy however he is more with my daughter than myself so really can't understand what I am doing wrong :( when we go out my partner takes control of my dog to keep him 1 walking obediently and 2 he has more strength to keep the dogs apart. The reason I have NOT neutered him yet is because my last dog ( his since passed) turned very nasty after having it done and bit a woman who was casually walking past us with her baby in a pram, it was awful, took a chunk out of her leg :( he was lucky he was not put down and the woman was so good about it. my female dog is now 8 nearly 9 and I have never had any problems with her and I have been training my male dog the same way BUT he just don't want to learn. I actually feel like crying right now because to be honest I think he would be better with someone else, but I can't rehome him as my daughter will probably never speak to me again.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (29 July 2013):
 I know in the UK and Europe it's common for the dogs to be left intact. Most do just fine; however, if you are not breeding this dog and his aggression has become an issue, why not consider neutering him?
It's possible your intact male dog believes he's the alpha dog, and he thinks he outranks everyone, including you. You have to establish yourself as the pack leader and that means he's not allowed to "go after" other dogs. Dominant down your dog every day a few times to establish your dominance. If he doesn't submit and relax entirely, or if you are too afraid to even try, then you need to get yourself and your dog into some obedience training classes.
You feed him AFTER you finish your meals, and make him sit and wait for his food. You should also be able to remove his food bowl while he's eating with no problem as well. Again, if you can't do that without him getting aggressive, then you need some help.
Bottom line is that you are the problem. The dog is doing what comes naturally in a leadership vacuum. You have to become the alpha dog. Also, your boyfriend should outrank your dog as well.
Neutering will help but that doesn't change the need for you to assume your leadership role.
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reader, splash88 +, writes (29 July 2013):
For starters I would say fix them both. And not let them see each other for a while after the surgery. Is there a field you can go to instead? Maybe your boy is anxious because of being surrounded by the trees and just takes it out on the othyounge? Did anything happen to your little man when he was younger that may make him instinctively harbor sour feelings for other intact males?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHI
Neither dogs are fixed, we take them out to the forest. My partners dog just walks merrily no tension, not one bit of aggression, he quite honestly is the most adorable lovable boy. Even when my dog for no reason keeps going for him he does NOT react in anyway other than moves away. My dog on the other hand immediately try's to attack him, so they are both kept on their leads at all times. Its really getting me down now. Because of this my partner can never stay at my house because he has no one to watch his dog overnight, and I am limited over his as I have two dogs.
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reader, splash88 +, writes (29 July 2013):
Are either or both males fixed? How are you having them meet? At one of your places or at a park that is neutral territory for both? What does the other dog do right before your dog goes off? I would love to help, as I've dealt with this myself and with other people's dogs that I've helped train.
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (29 July 2013):
 Try an obedience training school or get a dog trainer (whisperer) that comes to your home. Generally it’s us humans that require the retaining :)
It seems that these two male dogs may have unsorted territorial issues and when we humans react towards them by shouting and or pulling them a part etc.; the dogs simply interpret this human energy as more aggression needed, and they continue the cycle of attack with each other.
CAA
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