A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I need some opinions to find out if I'm on to something or imagining it...I'm so confused!!Last year I was looking to get my teeth straightened and I used Facebook for opinions and many people recommend this 1 particular dentist - Unfortunately as he was a 50 minute drive from me, too far, I did other research and found another dentist near me.3 weeks before I was due to start my treatment the surgery contacted me to say that due to poor health the orthodontist was leaving the practice with immediate effect- however they suggested I contact the other orthodontist that everyone had suggested before, that was far from me.I ended up going to him as there was nobody else available and here is where my "situation" started... The minute I met him I instantly liked him- I wasn't attracted to him as he is not my type but there was just "something" about him. I want to clarify I am single and he is too. As the months went on I started developing feelings for him- I guess I thought it was a crush. Then oddly enough I started to get really nervous before each visit- I have never had a dental phobia in my life but I would get so nervous going there knowing id see him....I also suspected he may like me too as I caught him staring at me a few times when I was making appointments at reception.He has also given me some mixed signals because when I asked him to replace a couple of silver fillings to white ones he suggested I go to my normal NHS dentist (he is private) so I felt dismissed and that he didn't want to continue having me as his patient, after my straightening had finished...Then 2 weeks ago he called me on his private mobile to tell me he may be running late the next day when I had my appointment and we had a bit of a casual chat...,in the past the receptionists has always called or emailed me if there would be a delay or anything..I honestly do not think it's a crush anymore - I've had plenty of crushes in my time and this feels completely different... I know this sounds crazy but I just "feel" he's the "one"- it's like I've seen our future together...Was it fate that I was meant to meet him? Does he not want me back as his patient because he wants to ask me out? Did he call me on his mobile so I'd have it?Thoughts please. Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015): It's not that he doesn't want you back as his patient that he suggested going to your dentist for your fillings. I know because my dad is a dentist. It's because orthodontists don't do that kind of procedure. Only dentists do.As for calling you on his mobile, I don't know. I do know my dad gives out a private contact in case of an emergency. I remember when I was little, patients would call him at home if they were in pain or something. He'd have to fill their prescription or recommend at home treatment. As for calling a patient to change an appointment or whatnot, my dad's secretary takes care of that. But I suppose if he had to do it himself for whatever reason, he would. I mean part of running a dental office involves multi tasking at times. So I don't know...none of what he did sounds too unusual for a person in that field. I think you should stop seeing him as your orthodontist and start text flirting with him or something. Because the orthodontist-patient relationship you have at the moment might make things awkward for him. Add him on Facebook or something and drop him a line. See how he responds.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015): I posted this- Notsohappy - I found out he was single as I overheard 1 of the receptionists making a joke about setting him up on a dating website as he's been single for too long & then I found him on Facebook (which he has open to the public)& his status stated "single" & there is no pictures or mention he is seeing or with anyone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2015): Hmmmm.I know you want to believe that he is interested and likes you as more than a patient. Believe me, I get it.But based on what you are saying, he has not made any concrete efforts to pursue you or ask you out directly. This tells me he might not be thinking about dating you.Honestly, nothing you have said indicates to me that he is interested that way. It is more you reading into it and hoping it will be scripted the way you want. More wishful thinking on your part.It seems he does feel comfortable with you. And if you caught him looking at you, that is a good sign. But he has not taken it further. Men usually pursue when they are attracted to a woman. He seems to be hanging back or perhaps feels he will be overstepping professional boundaries.If you like him that much and are willing to take a risk, ask him out for coffee casually. He might be afraid due to being your dentist or he may feel awkward. He may not be sure of your feelings and does not want to offend you. Do you make it obvious? Flirt with him at all? He might be giving you a few signals of interest so that you might be the one to pursue him? Possible. But it is also possible he likes you as a patient and a person. So, up to you if you want to take the risk. You are in the situation. Your gut should know if he is interested in you. But again, it is a risk. Be prepared for him politely declining.Good luck.
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