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male
,
anonymous
writes: I realise this is something I have brought on myself and feel like I am an awful person but I am really confused with what I want!!Basically my ex-girlfriend of 5 years ago, who I have a daughter with, is wanting to give things another try. I am currently living with my girlfriend of 4 years hence the problem!! I have always loved my ex-girlfriend (she was my first real love!) and always thought I would have jumped at the chance but now the opportunity is there I am hesitating! The worse thing is we recently shared a rather passionatte embrace which I know was very wrong whcih has now made things even harder!! I love the girl I am with now and would hate to lose her and maybe it's me being immature but I could never imagine seeing her with someone else, it would drive me crazy!! Obviously because we have a child I have always been friends with my ex, nothing was ever dragged through court or anything, the time we spend together is magic, its so strange the way we click and just feel at ease round each other and it's so nice spending time with her and my daughter. The other side to this is my current girlfriend loves my daughter to bits and they get along really well!Silly things kep coming to mind about when we were together like we would sit all night and talk till crazy times in morning, make up daft games and just enjoy each others company, with my current girlfriend either the computer or TV takes up our full night and we maybe speak a couple of words!!I hope this makes sense to someone because it doesn't to me lol!!Please help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2006): See what happens when you decide to have your cake and eat it? A mess.
You aren't happy and fulfilled with your current girlfriend as you wouldn't be presenting this problem of yours amd the mother of you child wouldn't look so appealing.
If you can relate with the mother of you child more so than with your current girlfriend; does this not speak volumes?
The choices you have made that lead you to this mess are highly in question.
I am going to offer you some advice from one who was a child from a broken home, from one who is now a mother of four, from someone who knows and appreciates the value of family into today's world, from someone who believes all are accoutable and responsible for all they say and do- look into yourself and see who you are and see what will bring you lasting happiness. I am telling you that it will be as a husband to the mother of your child and as a family. It isn't going to be easy but it is well worth it.
I want to suggest you read a book titled " Between Two Worlds" by Elizabeth Marquardt. This book will offer you insight into how to see from a child's eyes and what they will deal with years later when raised in a broken home.
Also, go to this link and read over the message that is present.
http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html
I find this beautifully written and aptly expresses what is missing into today's world standards of what is best for an individual.
I think you know what the right thing to do is, just make a decision and do it.
Best of wishes.
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (12 July 2006):
 You never married your current girlfriend of 4 years which says volumes on what your sub conscience is saying about the whole situation.
Most couples who are going to marry get engaged, within their first 2 years. Some know they want to marry that person within moments and most know in the first few months of dating. Most are married by the 3rd year of being together.
For some reason you held back, you didn't go that step. You are playing house with her but never made it legal, do you not question why your own sub-conscience is holding you back?
You know you have a child, a responsibility, your immortality wrapped up in another woman. A woman who is the mother of your baby, a woman who you have a past with, a friendship with, and who you love.
Could it be because of this you didn't allow yourself to make that legal and binding commitment to another woman in 4 years?
If this is why, then the relationship with your child's mother needs to be resolved or confirmed before you will be able to make that next big legal step with who ever you choose.
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